This is what the Philistine do to the slaves, and I'm tired of it... Oh, I'm going to die because I have a crush on a celebrity or look at someone... you guys aren't that important.

Programming: Bitch On a Leash

 So, I've said Campbell is stronger.  In many ways, black females are allowed to be strong. We weave and do all this strange stuff like we owe people or we must walk on eggshells.  If you do not, they'll all come at you with cliches. They can't think and are flat characters.  The middle-class, white male is a creature from Hell. They usually try to push me down or manipulate me on slightly higher levels.  Don't you want this? or that? No, I want the Hell away from you, or I'm going to have even more agony. No, I didn't look at you.

I've realized that I was shattered so much that I ceased to exist for a time, a void without desire or beliefs. It's not allowed in thoughts.  It makes you crazy.  I injured myself to hurt other people who were inside of me. Zheani didn't get it.  There is no dialogue with these people.  Mutilation is flattery to Marilyn Manson.  They used a lot of weapons on me, a young person...

White, middle-class, white girls have leashes on them for behavior.  Campbell was racist against me. I usually worship blacks. We all do, just like it's obvious that Asians are smarter than the other races. Thanks to all the people who said discrimination due to skin type is wrong while only ability matters.  I can say to be a bitch that I make the same test scores as black people. I would normally applaud the journey of the soul.  I also grew up in Hell without a release. Therefore, the fact that I went mad at them isn't a surprise.  We'll all turnout to out as little Cains.  Just start the tattoos like in Australia and in parts of Russia.  

I broke free but shattered still.  I do the opposite of my dad, and he put a lot of bad stuff into my mind when I grew up.  It's a sick joke, back to the white man who puts me with my dad.  We all hate him because of what he's done to us.  Even when Grandma was on her deathbed, she said he'd only mess it up.  She finally figured it out.  He didn't come to the memorial.  We don't know what makes him do psychopathic things that I live with now.  He is truly insane. Our whole family knows.

I was kind of angry at Campbell because she had choices like school or placement in less demeaning jobs.  I had no choice but the army. And my piece of shit father got in the way again. It's like, fuck, jon's back.  Most of my moves have been done due to desperation.  I'm simply destroyed as Blue Stahli would say. This is why I end up jealous and think it's wrong to be jealous.  The more desperate all of us become, we'll start the Cain business.  Go look at the last post before you rebuke me for being "racist." 

Getting over things isn't always a choice, I've learned.  I still go into defense and attack mode sometimes at night from Virginia.  Campbell would have cried there, too.  It's not fun, especially when they change your mood and put thoughts in, such as when I was a hypersexual pedophile.  There's a lot of pain from that or not getting back to Missouri due to the agent who said he was going to follow me.  

It's cool. I know that my brain is swelling again. They'll give me dementia eventually. I already have the start.  I'm going to try Alpha Prime.  

Boy, is she a bitch.  Destroys people. She's quite a napalmer, too. Of course, she must be better yet doesn't have a background in psychology or neurology.  My dream now is to get to a really, really good neurologist.

 This is not fair. I was okay before they burned into me.  Imagine, Zheani, if they didn't let you think and kept dominating you constantly.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwnosFODMrE "Thought Criminal" by Zheani. Even Allah lets his followers have thoughts.  Here, they twist our instincts to yield products.  

Don't feel bad, black people.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhSSLZpl-Vg  She's going to jail for getting upset, and I'll be put on the psych-ward where I will be so juiced up, I won't know my name. Afterward, I'll have to go through all of my history over and over again while the pressure is increasing in my body.  It's like, I have to be extra polite while this stuff is in me, or I'll end up in the ward.