Forced Celebrity and Other Sins

So America has a problem force-feeding its gitmo prisoners and also forcing its celebrities onto others. Most people enjoy seeing talent and positive things. That's why shows such as "The Voice" are so popular while Miley Cyrus' text about her dad's affair is not, yet we're forced to see what we don't want to see or talentless voids.

Why?

Who else is sick of troubled Lindsay Lohan? My spellcheck doesn't even recognize her. I do and only because I've been forced to ingest her from the mass media.

Not everyone is someone, you see. Some of us are just ordinary people. We don't break the mold, and we never will by virtue of being ourselves. Nobody wants to see or hear anything we produce in mass quantities. Sure, I can write a book, be in an article or post an opinion, but it's just another scribble in the great etching that is the internet.

People drift towards what they want, not what they're forced to endure.

But there are others, numerous artists and people that audiences do want to see, and they should be celebrated, not pushed to the side for another mass media nobody.

I don't understand why my country indulges in so many nobodies.

Don't Squeal And Remember That It's All In You Head

Literally.

So, when I was at the hospital, I told them there was something wrong with me, and they ignored me. There were physical signs that I'd had a head injury. My potassium kept dropping and my cholesterol was high for no reason. Plus, I was urinating on myself. One of my ER trips says I was discharged because "loss of consciousness" is not a typical sign of low potassium. I told them I thought it was low because I was having issues. It wasn't good that I was passing out. I know that. I went out on her in the room, and she ignored me. I was taking a nap.

People abuse me. I'm like Putin now. I want to kill them.

I told them I had a burning brain, and they told me it was a somatic hallucination. That's the abuse that psych patients go through.

Of course, the low potassium was causing me to hallucinate.

I hate people. They're nasty creations.

Putin Betrayed Me

He said, "Don't go into politics if you don't want to be betrayed." He didn't say that to me but to another, and I guess it's true of him.

When I needed help the most, Putin left me out to dry. The FSB knows I exist, and they could have said something. It's called "Mannitol" or there's other stuff too. Thanks, bastard. Anyone could have helped there. They were stalking me. By the way, I was raveningly disturbed when that pressure was in my brain, like a Doberman is, foaming at the mouth. Then they continued to do their little operations without thinking about the root cause. Ask them. They wanted to brag to me.

That's okay. They pay my bills now for their neglect and abuse. I am trying to go back to work, but it's hard. I can't remember things.

I kept trying to get help and everyone ignored me as they always do, including my doctors. I told the VA OIG about it, and they're like, "Well, you could have gone to the patient advocate." I didn't even know that existed. And no, I couldn't have because I was too delusional and in pain. I hate the government. I want to sue them, but I can't. I told the lady, I'm like, "I can't sue you, but I want to." She's like, "You don't have enough money to sue me." How abusive. People suck.

That's okay because I'm just trying to use Putin as well. I would like to be smart and normal.

Sorry I wanted a newspaper article so badly. One of my exfriends has been in two, and I wanted one. I get jealous really easily.

Normally, I don't want to exist. Just sometimes, my lil eyes catch on fire. I'm a jealous person. People love to rub things in my face. They have quite a bit. Then they wonder why I become inflamed.

We all know I'm going to end up in prison. I'm too driven without ability. The lobotomy didn't stop me. It did nothing but make it so that I couldn't reason through my emotions or morals. It actually made doing bad things easier because I don't have to feel bad.

My Opinions Don't Count

because I can't keep them straight. Whatever I think in the moment must be it!

My brain is destroyed. This doesn't help us.

I Think Putin Wronged Me

He knew I existed, and he didn't try to help. I needed mannitol or anything to release the pressure. Unless there's something in it for him, he's so reluctant to help. I understand this somewhat, not wanting to waste one's time on trivial matters, but there is such thing as common decency.

He left me alone when I needed help the most, like the others.

I believe in helping people when they need it, not merely when it suits my needs. Maybe that's why I'll never get anywhere.

I'm Feeling Better

I'm still a pig. I'm learning to eat though. I did buy a Jimmy John's sandwich today, but I will not eat anything else. I'm not being anorexic, though that would do me good; Jimmy John's has a lot of calories in it.

Edward Snowden's Delusion

Is that he's a hero like Bradley Manning, that he could end all of the corruption. It takes a lot of people to make those kinds of decisions. He is pretending to be the sole knower of good and evil and that's wrong. He's holding the documents and releasing them at his will, like he's God.

I do not agree with Edward Snowden or leaks. The reactions are too complicated for sole individuals. I do feel some sympathy for Bradley Manning, however, but not Snowden. I think he's a decent person, but that's never enough.

My mind is fractured...

This is how my mind normally works. They were probably trying to fix it, but I'm still fractured. Probably because some of them wanted to hurt me too.