I Went Into the Kitchen...

 I watched a program about models early today.  The woman at around 700 calories a day, and she was tall with blonde hair, naturally, blonde hair. She worked out to get killer abs but was weak, and this confused me.  Beauty is sometimes a curse.  I equate models as a sport due to all it takes.  

Well, I am fat. I got into trouble for going over the counter.  I was not blamed for a mishap today as I was gone learning about Virgil.  I'm just known to do it at night.  I decided to eat a bigger dinner so that there would be no need to snack.  I've lost control in this realm of life: my weight and appearance.  I don't have the social pressure I used to.

Belly doesn't look so good.

They say nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but this woman on TV enjoyed spending a day eating like a body builder, and he ate like her and far from satisfied. In the end, she consumed more calories than usual and perked up.  I hope she didn't puke.

And what an afterlife? Models don't make tons of money.  When they time out, there's no work for them. What do you become after a supermodel?  An old face to hate? A mother who pushed you too far? Guys who didn't love you after 30?   

I like potato chips with sour cream.  I like to sit on the couch, gross but comfy, and watch the "Carol Brunette Show."  Most TV sucks these days.  

And get off my lawn :P

Blame Game, All Suckers

 

Lindsay Lohan wonders why no one 'protected' her more during her early rise to fame

We all wonder. My parents let us run wild and had issues of her own.  I came back from a severe trauma situation, and my mom didn't know what to do.  I was super thin, so she fed me more that time. My dad dumped me but kept custody, but she didn't fight much then because she finally got me out of there, but with a punch in the gut. She had a difficult time with herself, and I've always felt like suppressed guilt, not that it can surface.  My mom should have called the cops more and had me taken away.  I did a lot for her. I took care of the kids all the time, worked for her alcohol, and I didn't get to be a teenager. Plus, I'm special needs, so I was picked on for that by my parents who are smart, but mom is seriously just a couch genius watching BBC. She said I would be a bag lady or work a manage shift at fast food if that.  Kaela is so dumb, not like my others. Thanks. Well, that's better than being overly praised like my dad does and makes me sick in the head. It's like, you're full of shit.  My parents constantly punished me, and I really didn't understand it.  I wrote my infamous letters asking why.  Children don't analyze their own behavior that well, and you can't punish kids constantly when they have a mental illness. It escalated the situation with my sister who keeps her distance. I've always been a little away from them because of my dad and his "friends." The family blamed my parents and punished them.  I just grew up being punished. I like pain, right?  I showed my teeth.  Then the door was locked.  Sometimes, my sister would let me in. I loved my siblings more than anything. I was thrown out at 17, and I was not ready.  They should have given me to Grandma Creighton who was an elementary teacher, but we have the nefarious alcohol that I was also confused about--and trusting me enough to be convenient.  We can blame everyone and the devil, but it still happened.