What I Did In The End--I Was Going Down Anyway

Yes, this is what I did. There's not much left of me, but it was worth it. I know I hit some nerves.



I think it's moral because it was me.

I just want to talk about it as a society. What they're doing is immoral.



Do you want these people around you? Do you trust their intents when there is NO accountability?

And then what's going to happen... And these crystal balls.

I Won't Do Anything For You After That

I would have preferred a laser if I was forced to. You people have no business coming into my life. If I want to live, I live. IF I want to die, I die. If I want to kill, I face justice. None of these happenings are your business. You did a great job of protecting me. I'd like to say that. Shove your love back up your ass where it belongs.

I refuse to do anything, mostly because I'm incapacitated. It was already hard enough for me, and you made it harder and took away all the fun, awe and joy of life. How dare you. You aren't anyone under the sun.




She doesn't even deserve this.

You saw what she did, the other girl who you guys are getting on YouTube.


Most just care about money. That's why 70% of them "hear voices," dough. You can't kill them all, so why don't you just say that you can see into our minds and open up clinics to help everyone? The kookiness will have to end along with the dark age. Mwhaha back to you and your lowness. I won't be crawling in shit along with all the other veterans you've killed, "Evil Angel," Breaking Benjamin. You will disappear in mind. Putin is going to bow to me along with all of you. I will never go through that again. You will make peace with me. You are nothing to me.

I could have used a small surgery, not eighty of them. Besides, we all know you were trying to kill me too because "she'll never do anything for you." Oh, look, he's right :P

She might be brainwashed by her doctor. She's a good person though.

I was fine before and I'm just "like that." I just keep going, and you people GET IN MY WAY! It's a trick and how they get ahead.

Admit it, you guys can't handle the power. You're infatuated with yourselves.

Thanks to drugs that increase serotonin and dopamine, I can talk and go to the store, but I can't do much.

I thought I was going to lose the ability to form words, but I still can and all of my voices are coming back. My brain is setup to be that way.

I went years "hearing voices" when I was perfectly healthy. A lot of people hear voices. Ironically, so does Bjork, Madonna's little friend. Look, she was immature too and no one came rushing in to destroy her in her moment of disgrace.



I've had a lot of other hallucinations too. "Voices" were the least of my problems. You've seen them now, so you know.



I have some strange problem. They were worse when I was a kid. They're called hypnagogic, but I can have them when I'm awake too. Sometimes.

Like I've said for a while, my MAIN problems are cognitive.

What you'll find out if you deal with a large group of people:





It makes sense to me why a lot of people think strange things, but it takes a ton of investigation.

Dear President Obama and the All-Knowing Wise

I don't like you. I don't like Romney either. I like Jill Stein.

Hopefully, during your second time as President, you'll do a better job of assessing your threats. I was "barking" because they wouldn't leave me alone. I puffed up my chest. A scared animal will bite.

I am a dissident. That was allowed prior. If you changed it, which you obviously did, then you should inform us, and I'd lie until I could escape "this."

I wanted to leave and be a slave in peace. You guys expect the world out of me, which is hilarious. When they were stalking me, they said, "She'll never do anything for you." What have they done for the world? Nothing. You know what you did, and it was dirty. I don't like America. I like Mexico, Thailand and Cuba much better. Libya was probably nicer to the disabled. All people do here is whine about how it's "their" money, as if taxes on their pathetic earnings really pays. Then they hurt us. Cuba is my favorite place though. It's like a dream.

Unlike this place...

So, if you haven't noticed, our "free" and loving intelligence agencies are making dissidents brain dead, as if that's going to help them. Now they have to support them... When did a 3 dollar bullet go so astray? They have to be badass though. Who got me? I bet it was NSA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgxA6TyNm7g "We're not protestors, we're pirates."

I know they aren't all-knowing and wise, so I disregard them. I'm seeing if they'll be honest about what they did.

I don't like being an idiot. I'm getting better at dealing with it though. It's hard for me to deal with information. If someone tells me there are monkeys on the moon, I will believe them. Things are literal, and I have no ability to discern or any emotional process. I say off the wall things sometimes too. I can't come to the same, strong conclusions I could before. Information is analogous to me.

Are you a moron? +slaps chest+ We evolved millions of years and need those abilities to survive. They have to think about it. They have to process it. I am pathologically jealous because I wanted to go to school and everyone got to go but me, and they steal everything from me and torture me with that "school."

Yeah, that's what "she" said, "reptile brain." Fix my brain! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! I wasn't racist in the traditional sense and it was only in the back of my mind; I wanted to go to school and they abused me first, which made me think about them in a negative way, school and W. Plus, my best friend betrayed me. And one girl was flat out racist towards white people. Don't think I'm for the Aryan brotherhood. I'm just a wounded animal. How would you feel? I wasn't like, white people are better than black people. I was like, I need to avoid conflict.

I'm jealous because I want to go to school most of all, however. The school gives them points for being black but not for being disabled. See where I'm going with this? It's an everlasting battle because they've hurt me that bad, school. Fix the world before you center all your arguments on one person. And the days go on and everyone is the same, but you drag me in more garbage. I like the 60 pounds my lobotomy caused me to gain too. I have no "future." All you're doing is a lobotomy. If you damage tissue in the brain, you get the same results. They've found crazy new regions to damage.

I hate you, and I don't care if you're black. I can't feel hate, but I know it.

I know they can see everything, so even if it wasn't them, they'll know who it was. Thanks for defending me again. Thanks. I also know that they did it because the voices I hear are totally different.

I'm a dissident because of how the disabled are treated in America. It sucks for most people, and they're trying to shove me to stupidity again, which won't ever happen. I will never sacrifice myself or do anything out of good nature again. I loved President Obama's comment about intellectually disabled people too, the "special Olympics" one, and I love the backlog on disability claims, and I love that you're trying to screw us all over. We know who it's all about. Just kill us, all disabled people, since that's what they're trying to do. Maybe then there'll be world peace.

You could fix us, but that would be... too good to be true.

Fuck all politicians. You better read this, you fags. I expect to be on the news, be a millionaire shortly (why not gift like all the other corrupt people--I cannot support myself all the way) or be a genius brain-wise with the genes I know you have if I have to bring humanity to its knees first.

I'm still running around screaming about that, so it still goes to show that I might one day rule the world.

Why don't you separate us? We'd lead better lives. You wanted to be cheap in the 1950s. Look, it's not working out.



All my "friends" have abandoned me for the same old reasons. I need broken friends like me.

Oh, and the 23andme thing was to garner attention to my "fix my brain" rant to that one girl, not the other argument. It didn't work, but I did get someone with a weapon to talk to me, not from that but another trap I put up. He didn't fix me.

I Decided I Want a Settlement From Putin

The only reason is because they can't fix my brain yet, and I can't do much or at least not yet. My memory is terrible, and I have issues thinking, especially on my feet. My entire character has been destroyed, but I can work on mending that myself.

And no, I'm not giving up. I'm going to try volunteering at NAMI and then living again. I've been independent for several months, and I'm taking classes, but I'm not sure I'll pass the tests. That's not thanks to the lobotomy, the independence, because I was independent and looking for work BEFORE the lobotomy. That stupid, beeping operation is what destroyed me, or maybe they were trying to kill me. I don't know. All I know is that they did it several times and now I'm confused. Putin knows what they did. I wish he would just agree to a settlement. Most of this is because of him and due to his influence. Don't say I destroyed you because you got me first. Plus, you're a person of influence and my word is meaningless.



I doubt I'll ever be totally self-sufficient though. For the first time in my life, I'm not sure if I can do the impossible.

I think it would be cool if I could buy a big house with the settlement and collect a few other unfortunate souls, other mental people. Those are the only people I care for really. There are a lot of them these days. Pretty sure he'll continue to be a douche about everything.

My current goals are to get on lurasidone and back on track. I have schizophrenia on top of everything, and it's worse now. I got confused for awhile due to the real stuff. Some of it is real and some of it is not. I realized this when the immortal undead/angels came back. God, I feel like I'm on one of those movies. What is real?.. what is not?.. It's all a paradox. No, it's not that bad. Obviously, I've provided some evidence here. If you don't believe that I named Putin's dog "Buffy" and it wasn't a five year old boy, look up "returnoftheramble3 Buffy." http://largedogbreedslist.com/large-dog-breeds/a-dogs-heart-pet-lover-putin-needs-name-for-fluffy-puppy/ Grr... Anyway, I want on lurasidone because it helps with memory and cognition, which are the two areas that are holding me back. Plus, I'm overweight, and it's supposed to be better for that.

Dear Putin, Marilyn Manson, Bjork & Madonna

I hope you're all happy.

I guess I should live by this quote, "Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die." --Terence Tyler I guess all paths lead to the grave. Even immortals will have a hard time survivng the universe.

I want a t-shirt with that quote.

My entire life is destroyed, and since you damaged my brain, I'll never get out of "this."

Normally, I cut my losses and run, but you guys went for the brain.

When they release those records, I will get you and your little pretty too.

I don't want your frickin' money; I want my brain fixed. Of course, they'll try to frame me as this or that to get out of it, like I must be full of myself to sue. I've never sued anyone, and I've been beyond wronged. The brain is a different story, however. That's something that is deeply personal and mine and you raped me on top of it, the weapon from Hell, but I'll be selfless and let that go, even though it violated me in ways I can't describe. However, my brain is my soul, and you disturbed it then destroyed it. I'm not letting the physical stuff though or the 8.5 month long headache or all the inspired actions that you practically forced by stupid weapons or my destroyed character.

Next time, break an arm or something or send me to jail. I know you want to prevent me from going anywhere and see me suffer. There are easier ways than destroying the brain.

If any of you had a conscience, you'd do it, but I know better.

Fraud. Fraud. Fraud. How and why did the FBI/CIA allow that? That means that the FBI/CIA has a file and they endorse this, and I get it in 25 years. I have 10 years after that to get your rears.

I can't believe you're going to make me live like this for that long.

I know that I can't prove that you did it to me, "beyond a reasonable doubt." And you all know how to work the system. When those papers come, I will be redeemed!

And yes, I asked Campbell if she wanted to sue me for the name-thing, and she said "no." I offered because if she does then she can get her full name deleted off of the internet. It requires a court order. Dernit, we don't follow laws anyway. Can we just delete it? It's something for the FBI to do. It'll occupy their time for awhile. Lord knows they need something to justify their paychecks.

But in 25 years, she'll be kicking your ass too for using her, I bet, endangering her life.

Rejected People and the Morally Pure

http://start.toshiba.com/news/read.php?rip_id=%3CDA0VQ3GO0%40news.ap.org%3E&ps=931

Growing up, they destroyed me in every way possible, and it continued into adulthood.

They end up making me morally beyond pure and I have to be everyone's friend. Otherwise, I think I'm better!

What they do is find one lie that I have to tell and use it to claim the truth and make me out to be Satan. I have many lessons to learn...

I don't think any of you would want to talk about the things I have to or disclose the level of information that I end up having to give by peoples' demands.

I just didn't have enough money due to certain issues in HS, and I think that made me evil in the eyes of many people. Putin hates poor people. They have a false sense of entitlement! I like his watch collection... more full of shitness. Back to HS, it wasn't a big deal, but it was a temporary problem that plagued my family. They used that against me too. I'm not even going to talk about my years with X because all people will do is bring out an abnormal psychology book and put me in chains that I can never escape. And let me not forget my minor disability growing up as well.

Where's all the good now? Where's all the dedication to community? Nobody comes and visits me, and I don't want them to, but these were the same people that were trying to save the planet. I think most people are full of shit.

Good thing I don't have to depend on handouts from my HS at Christmas because I think I'd stab a hole in their tires with the one knife I possess. Oh yeah, I always get framed into being a school shooter too.

I always end up having to confess a bunch of crap that I haven't and wouldn't do. It's annoying.

People Kaela's killed: 0. People the government has killed: millions.

Don't worry about me ever coming on campus again. Luckily, everyone's wonderful treatment of me has fried my brain along with a few weapons-- but I'm Satan, and I can't not talk to things. I wouldn't be able to sit through a lecture without talking to my pencil, as my mind doesn't filter a lot of reality. Prior to my issues, I was average and a little above in some subjects. I struggle now. Oh well. That makes the morally pure people happy!

People would love to shame me and prevent me from even doing online/mail classes by my moral character, as they have also destroyed any chances of me ever having gainful employment again as well. That prevents me from growing, and it also makes it so that I can't do anything in the community that we're all supposed to share with hugs and rainbows.

I am so sick of their tricks.

"Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion keeps the poor from murdering the rich." -Napoleon Bonaparte

Actually, what I think keeps them from doing it is that they're decent people. They weren't thieves. They weren't liars. They weren't thugs, so they didn't get anywhere.

I thought about being a mass murderer though in recent history. I thought the argument that I would present the judge and that is that government murders, Presidents murder,so what's so wrong with it? Are you really going to hang me and let the others get away with it? Is that your justice?

So if a butcher knife is the cause of death and there looks like tracks from a getaway bicycle, you know it was me.

It's highly unlikely that I'd do that though.

World's Richest Hag--Well, That Is Inspiring to Me, the Hag Part

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/drink-less-more-billionaire-tells-152654355.html

Why do I not like them? Because they know that certain people might rise, and they prevent it by either destroying their lives or destroying their brains. Read about COINTELPRO and tell me it's fair, please bitch. I'm sure you have a few assassins too.

Oh, help me, help me, rich people! They took everything so then I have to serve them and rely on them. I'd have to box them, and I did box Putin, but he got out of it. I'd rather go back into the woods than do anything for Madonna.

And since everything is like this, we have to be like them. If it's not me, it's you. Basically, they've got everything so corrupted that it's like impossible to earn anything worth anything. You have to always be thankful and grateful that you saw another sun. You can't even fix it it's so messed up. I think the more perceptive hoard and hide.

What would I do if I had a lot of money? I wouldn't keep it long enough to know because everyone takes everything from me, and I can't do anything because I'm always trapped. I'd probably fix my brain then fix my income for the rest of my life, as I'm socially trapped against doing too much and the world's like "this," and get rid of the rest. Charity? Not the kind you're thinking. I'd probably go buy kids AK47s. And world peace.

I don't believe in having hoards of money. Even if it's "earned" in this world, it's still stolen. Whose work is really worth so much more than another's? That's why we have Cain in the world.

Since they stole from me, I rely on the government, which also tries to kill me. I hate that. I can't do anything decent now that my life and brain are destroyed.

We aren't retarded, or we didn't used to be, and that's why we're socialists, and those aren't freeloaders either because one of principles of it is that "those that do not work, do not eat." We share. I'm not like hardcore in that area. They just always use that vocabulary when anything benefits workers, so I adapt it.


If we didn't have stupid welfare, we would DEMAND jobs and fair wage and there would be a lot less bullshit.

I know that what Putin did will prevent me from going anywhere. It's already hard enough to do anything when you're disabled and then these yahoos run in and destroy everything.