Monday, December 31, 2012

Dawn of the Hives--Mwahahaha



This is my joke to the intelligence agencies that stalk me. I threw all their arguments together. I was framed as being a spy or committing espionage by the FBI back when I was still in the military, so in this book, I named myself 53 and said I came from a communist compound. This is how the US portrays communism, especially in the former Soviet Union and North Korea, and I created the extreme. Sometimes, I'll admit, it does jump around, but that's because I am schizophrenic. And before you dismiss me, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you... I'm not a paranoid schizophrenic anyway. All this stuff happens to me and nobody cares nor says anything, so I laugh.

"Dawn of the Hives"


Human civilization has proven its ability to terrorize, its weaknesses and its ineffectiveness throughout history. The planet is in peril. Simply stated, things cannot go on as such, or they could not have. A group of elites have secretly come together and created compounds called Hives, which have proven effective in alleviating several problems, but at what price? Only Eleven Sectors remain part of the free world while the rest of civilization lives in Hives or horrors of horrors, as the Freers, or an army of rebels, claim. The destiny of mankind hangs in the balance of a number of threats not only from the Hives, but dangers from advanced alien civilizations. Who will win? Will humanity’s soul be triumphant or has the time of the human race passed?




It's free. Read today!
http://www.lulu.com/shop/rebecca-troup/dawn-of-the-hives/ebook/product-20611684.html

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Ugh

So I haven't written on this site in a while.

I haven't had anything to say to this pocket of cyberspace. They've made my mind so blank that I have to spend hours studying and relearning myself because I'm in the same reality that I usually am and have to survive. I'm pretty much relearning everything I knew anyway, what little that was. I didn't know much of anything anyway. I just observe everyone and usually don't say anything until I had to ink out like an octopus to survive. I don't know why they're doing these operations. Nothing's changing. And world peace. Sure, they'll get there one retard at a time, by framing us for their own careers.

Nobody really goes anywhere, not in the end.

You've got a million spies with nothing to do but eat of us. Then you've got Obama who is a psychopath. I don't like him. I need to join an organization and be super "speshul" too if we're going with this, or his, stupid programming. If we're going to be fascists, let's be fascists, but he wants to half-ass everything.


I feel so weak. It's bizarre. I float around reality. I'm still fighting on my front. Apathy won't ever swallow me, not until I'm dead.

I started eating a mushroom to try to help with the dizziness and floating, and it's helping, but it's also making me really happy, which is bad because it makes me go the other way. Sometimes, my Prozac does the same thing to me. It makes me aggressive. Guys, no amount of brain damage is going to fix this. You've got me on all these chemicals too that are messing me up.

I have no choice. I never have had a choice.

I figured out that I am in "Eat Me, Drink Me" ("Kaela" is at 2:01, not game) as well as "No Reflection" (I'm the hippie chick and Gail, YouTube "Gail and Putin," is Catherine the Great). Both of these are by Marilyn Manson. I remember them stalking me then too. People think I'm crazy, or they don't care because they're still in their comas. It will eventually affect you. They hope. Oh well. I used to hope back in my vegetable days.

I just wish this had a purpose, but alas, they are too vain for it to mean anything, more wasted resources, and I'm a waste of resources to the sycophants who attack young girls, disabled people and welfare recipients.



"What's all this talk of a notion/I'd rather drink from the ocean."~Breaking Benjamin It's burning Benny.

I said so :P

Sunday, November 11, 2012

What I Did In The End--I Was Going Down Anyway



Yes, this is what I did. There's not much left of me, but it was worth it. I know I hit some nerves.



I think it's moral because it was me.

I just want to talk about it as a society. What they're doing is immoral.



Do you want these people around you? Do you trust their intents when there is NO accountability?

And then what's going to happen... And these crystal balls.

I Won't Do Anything For You After That

I would have preferred a laser if I was forced to. You people have no business coming into my life. If I want to live, I live. IF I want to die, I die. If I want to kill, I face justice. None of these happenings are your business. You did a great job of protecting me. I'd like to say that. Shove your love back up your ass where it belongs.

I refuse to do anything, mostly because I'm incapacitated. It was already hard enough for me, and you made it harder and took away all the fun, awe and joy of life. How dare you. You aren't anyone under the sun.




She doesn't even deserve this.

You saw what she did, the other girl who you guys are getting on YouTube.


Most just care about money. That's why 70% of them "hear voices," dough. You can't kill them all, so why don't you just say that you can see into our minds and open up clinics to help everyone? The kookiness will have to end along with the dark age. Mwhaha back to you and your lowness. I won't be crawling in shit along with all the other veterans you've killed, "Evil Angel," Breaking Benjamin. You will disappear in mind. Putin is going to bow to me along with all of you. I will never go through that again. You will make peace with me. You are nothing to me.

I could have used a small surgery, not eighty of them. Besides, we all know you were trying to kill me too because "she'll never do anything for you." Oh, look, he's right :P

She might be brainwashed by her doctor. She's a good person though.

I was fine before and I'm just "like that." I just keep going, and you people GET IN MY WAY! It's a trick and how they get ahead.

Admit it, you guys can't handle the power. You're infatuated with yourselves.

Thanks to drugs that increase serotonin and dopamine, I can talk and go to the store, but I can't do much.

I thought I was going to lose the ability to form words, but I still can and all of my voices are coming back. My brain is setup to be that way.

I went years "hearing voices" when I was perfectly healthy. A lot of people hear voices. Ironically, so does Bjork, Madonna's little friend. Look, she was immature too and no one came rushing in to destroy her in her moment of disgrace.



I've had a lot of other hallucinations too. "Voices" were the least of my problems. You've seen them now, so you know.



I have some strange problem. They were worse when I was a kid. They're called hypnagogic, but I can have them when I'm awake too. Sometimes.

Like I've said for a while, my MAIN problems are cognitive.

What you'll find out if you deal with a large group of people:





It makes sense to me why a lot of people think strange things, but it takes a ton of investigation.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Dear President Obama and the All-Knowing Wise

I don't like you. I don't like Romney either. I like Jill Stein.

Hopefully, during your second time as President, you'll do a better job of assessing your threats. I was "barking" because they wouldn't leave me alone. I puffed up my chest. A scared animal will bite.

I am a dissident. That was allowed prior. If you changed it, which you obviously did, then you should inform us, and I'd lie until I could escape "this."

I wanted to leave and be a slave in peace. You guys expect the world out of me, which is hilarious. When they were stalking me, they said, "She'll never do anything for you." What have they done for the world? Nothing. You know what you did, and it was dirty. I don't like America. I like Mexico, Thailand and Cuba much better. Libya was probably nicer to the disabled. All people do here is whine about how it's "their" money, as if taxes on their pathetic earnings really pays. Then they hurt us. Cuba is my favorite place though. It's like a dream.

Unlike this place...

So, if you haven't noticed, our "free" and loving intelligence agencies are making dissidents brain dead, as if that's going to help them. Now they have to support them... When did a 3 dollar bullet go so astray? They have to be badass though. Who got me? I bet it was NSA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgxA6TyNm7g "We're not protestors, we're pirates."

I know they aren't all-knowing and wise, so I disregard them. I'm seeing if they'll be honest about what they did.

I don't like being an idiot. I'm getting better at dealing with it though. It's hard for me to deal with information. If someone tells me there are monkeys on the moon, I will believe them. Things are literal, and I have no ability to discern or any emotional process. I say off the wall things sometimes too. I can't come to the same, strong conclusions I could before. Information is analogous to me.

Are you a moron? +slaps chest+ We evolved millions of years and need those abilities to survive. They have to think about it. They have to process it. I am pathologically jealous because I wanted to go to school and everyone got to go but me, and they steal everything from me and torture me with that "school."

Yeah, that's what "she" said, "reptile brain." Fix my brain! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! I wasn't racist in the traditional sense and it was only in the back of my mind; I wanted to go to school and they abused me first, which made me think about them in a negative way, school and W. Plus, my best friend betrayed me. And one girl was flat out racist towards white people. Don't think I'm for the Aryan brotherhood. I'm just a wounded animal. How would you feel? I wasn't like, white people are better than black people. I was like, I need to avoid conflict.

I'm jealous because I want to go to school most of all, however. The school gives them points for being black but not for being disabled. See where I'm going with this? It's an everlasting battle because they've hurt me that bad, school. Fix the world before you center all your arguments on one person. And the days go on and everyone is the same, but you drag me in more garbage. I like the 60 pounds my lobotomy caused me to gain too. I have no "future." All you're doing is a lobotomy. If you damage tissue in the brain, you get the same results. They've found crazy new regions to damage.

I hate you, and I don't care if you're black. I can't feel hate, but I know it.

I know they can see everything, so even if it wasn't them, they'll know who it was. Thanks for defending me again. Thanks. I also know that they did it because the voices I hear are totally different.

I'm a dissident because of how the disabled are treated in America. It sucks for most people, and they're trying to shove me to stupidity again, which won't ever happen. I will never sacrifice myself or do anything out of good nature again. I loved President Obama's comment about intellectually disabled people too, the "special Olympics" one, and I love the backlog on disability claims, and I love that you're trying to screw us all over. We know who it's all about. Just kill us, all disabled people, since that's what they're trying to do. Maybe then there'll be world peace.

You could fix us, but that would be... too good to be true.

Fuck all politicians. You better read this, you fags. I expect to be on the news, be a millionaire shortly (why not gift like all the other corrupt people--I cannot support myself all the way) or be a genius brain-wise with the genes I know you have if I have to bring humanity to its knees first.

I'm still running around screaming about that, so it still goes to show that I might one day rule the world.

Why don't you separate us? We'd lead better lives. You wanted to be cheap in the 1950s. Look, it's not working out.



All my "friends" have abandoned me for the same old reasons. I need broken friends like me.

Oh, and the 23andme thing was to garner attention to my "fix my brain" rant to that one girl, not the other argument. It didn't work, but I did get someone with a weapon to talk to me, not from that but another trap I put up. He didn't fix me.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

I Decided I Want a Settlement From Putin

The only reason is because they can't fix my brain yet, and I can't do much or at least not yet. My memory is terrible, and I have issues thinking, especially on my feet. My entire character has been destroyed, but I can work on mending that myself.

And no, I'm not giving up. I'm going to try volunteering at NAMI and then living again. I've been independent for several months, and I'm taking classes, but I'm not sure I'll pass the tests. That's not thanks to the lobotomy, the independence, because I was independent and looking for work BEFORE the lobotomy. That stupid, beeping operation is what destroyed me, or maybe they were trying to kill me. I don't know. All I know is that they did it several times and now I'm confused. Putin knows what they did. I wish he would just agree to a settlement. Most of this is because of him and due to his influence. Don't say I destroyed you because you got me first. Plus, you're a person of influence and my word is meaningless.



I doubt I'll ever be totally self-sufficient though. For the first time in my life, I'm not sure if I can do the impossible.

I think it would be cool if I could buy a big house with the settlement and collect a few other unfortunate souls, other mental people. Those are the only people I care for really. There are a lot of them these days. Pretty sure he'll continue to be a douche about everything.

My current goals are to get on lurasidone and back on track. I have schizophrenia on top of everything, and it's worse now. I got confused for awhile due to the real stuff. Some of it is real and some of it is not. I realized this when the immortal undead/angels came back. God, I feel like I'm on one of those movies. What is real?.. what is not?.. It's all a paradox. No, it's not that bad. Obviously, I've provided some evidence here. If you don't believe that I named Putin's dog "Buffy" and it wasn't a five year old boy, look up "returnoftheramble3 Buffy." http://largedogbreedslist.com/large-dog-breeds/a-dogs-heart-pet-lover-putin-needs-name-for-fluffy-puppy/ Grr... Anyway, I want on lurasidone because it helps with memory and cognition, which are the two areas that are holding me back. Plus, I'm overweight, and it's supposed to be better for that.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Dear Putin, Marilyn Manson, Bjork & Madonna

I hope you're all happy.

I guess I should live by this quote, "Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die." --Terence Tyler I guess all paths lead to the grave. Even immortals will have a hard time survivng the universe.

I want a t-shirt with that quote.

My entire life is destroyed, and since you damaged my brain, I'll never get out of "this."

Normally, I cut my losses and run, but you guys went for the brain.

When they release those records, I will get you and your little pretty too.

I don't want your frickin' money; I want my brain fixed. Of course, they'll try to frame me as this or that to get out of it, like I must be full of myself to sue. I've never sued anyone, and I've been beyond wronged. The brain is a different story, however. That's something that is deeply personal and mine and you raped me on top of it, the weapon from Hell, but I'll be selfless and let that go, even though it violated me in ways I can't describe. However, my brain is my soul, and you disturbed it then destroyed it. I'm not letting the physical stuff though or the 8.5 month long headache or all the inspired actions that you practically forced by stupid weapons or my destroyed character.

Next time, break an arm or something or send me to jail. I know you want to prevent me from going anywhere and see me suffer. There are easier ways than destroying the brain.

If any of you had a conscience, you'd do it, but I know better.

Fraud. Fraud. Fraud. How and why did the FBI/CIA allow that? That means that the FBI/CIA has a file and they endorse this, and I get it in 25 years. I have 10 years after that to get your rears.

I can't believe you're going to make me live like this for that long.

I know that I can't prove that you did it to me, "beyond a reasonable doubt." And you all know how to work the system. When those papers come, I will be redeemed!

And yes, I asked Campbell if she wanted to sue me for the name-thing, and she said "no." I offered because if she does then she can get her full name deleted off of the internet. It requires a court order. Dernit, we don't follow laws anyway. Can we just delete it? It's something for the FBI to do. It'll occupy their time for awhile. Lord knows they need something to justify their paychecks.

But in 25 years, she'll be kicking your ass too for using her, I bet, endangering her life.