The only reason is because they can't fix my brain yet, and I can't do much or at least not yet. My memory is terrible, and I have issues thinking, especially on my feet. My entire character has been destroyed, but I can work on mending that myself.
And no, I'm not giving up. I'm going to try volunteering at NAMI and then living again. I've been independent for several months, and I'm taking classes, but I'm not sure I'll pass the tests. That's not thanks to the lobotomy, the independence, because I was independent and looking for work BEFORE the lobotomy. That stupid, beeping operation is what destroyed me, or maybe they were trying to kill me. I don't know. All I know is that they did it several times and now I'm confused. Putin knows what they did. I wish he would just agree to a settlement. Most of this is because of him and due to his influence. Don't say I destroyed you because you got me first. Plus, you're a person of influence and my word is meaningless.
I doubt I'll ever be totally self-sufficient though. For the first time in my life, I'm not sure if I can do the impossible.
I think it would be cool if I could buy a big house with the settlement and collect a few other unfortunate souls, other mental people. Those are the only people I care for really. There are a lot of them these days. Pretty sure he'll continue to be a douche about everything.
My current goals are to get on lurasidone and back on track. I have schizophrenia on top of everything, and it's worse now. I got confused for awhile due to the real stuff. Some of it is real and some of it is not. I realized this when the immortal undead/angels came back. God, I feel like I'm on one of those movies. What is real?.. what is not?.. It's all a paradox. No, it's not that bad. Obviously, I've provided some evidence here. If you don't believe that I named Putin's dog "Buffy" and it wasn't a five year old boy, look up "returnoftheramble3 Buffy." http://largedogbreedslist.com/large-dog-breeds/a-dogs-heart-pet-lover-putin-needs-name-for-fluffy-puppy/ Grr... Anyway, I want on lurasidone because it helps with memory and cognition, which are the two areas that are holding me back. Plus, I'm overweight, and it's supposed to be better for that.
