Monday, February 27, 2017

Yeah, my family pulled this on me

Luckily, they are taking care of my brother.  You live, you learn. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQNLTMkmpTM 

Both of my parents have taken responsibility for what happened to me.  I know I had some issues, too.

Let's not rinse and repeat.

In other news, I've been linked to "whothefuckcares?" Obviously, this person cares a lot.  I don't do anything for views. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Class Wars and a Problem with Free Speech and Rich Assholes With Eyes: One Has to Stop

So, I know nobody reads my blog.  Well, they don't for the most part.  Some of you who spend a few seconds on me come from a porn site.  Why do you think they made that a weapon of the night? It's an instinct. 

I'm a freak bitch, baby.  It's a problem for us.

Speaking of instincts, the usual caste crashers are being slaughtered or zombiefied.  They feel pain as they fight their world along with all the abuse they put up with being from a lower socioeconomic status, struggles they've had.  The rich have made it a priority to catch certain people and prevent them from moving the world.  They'll make us pure at heart, or so stupid we can't chew gum. 

"Nothing Really Matters" ~ Madonna  We'll all be flesh robots.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAVx9RKaLPU

They use what they say and justify declawing them.  They keep their places that way.  Damn tomas. 

They're all hot about the world now, thinking they can save it or stop the wheel just because they have built a supercomputer, and they have foresight in some ways.  They defend their interests without thinking about the whole.  Even with that, they'll learn they have to burn us sometimes, certain people or groups.

If the upperclasses would stop watching us, we'd be fine.  They're being wolves now or spoiled children.  They know just what to look for when you "confess" to have feelings like our fake stars. 


Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Why I Stay Single and Will Not Have Children

First off, I'd like to say I'm not a golddigger.  You can ask my ex.  I'm just not big into hobos.  I became a footlicker once.  Shame on me.  Get up!  I used to blush a lot, and I've been destroyed by silly games.  I'm scared of many males these days.

However, I will not have the resources to care for children, especially in my class when I work.  It's almost impossible.  I'd have to work 2-3 jobs and put my kid in daycare.  The state would essentially raise my child.  What is the point?

They blame the woman for leaving the man, but the man often has eyes for younger pieces, money or a thrill.  I'm a rose, and it's my thorn. 

Secondly, many members of my family are idiots or mentally ill.  The nice versions of us, and we aren't sweethearts, spend all day on the internet barking at the government.  We act younger and, well, give up the game. 

Thirdly, I helped raise my siblings.  I know what it takes to be a mommy, and I don't think I could do it now.  My memory is bad along with cognition.  I couldn't even take care of my braces.

And lastly, I'd be an opprobrium, even more than I am now.  I would depend on charity even more, and I don't want to raise my baby in the US where it will get a lobotomy for a tantrum or disagreement with a classmate. 

I'm sorry.  I know I'm insane.  We still should have rights and go to court.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Waste of Resources

Special Ed is like living Hell unless you're a vegetable.  My delusions saved me somewhat. 

They always blame us for things, and they use us for stupid causes that drain money.  In HS, I first went to an algebra 2 class where we colored, 'a class with in a class' on chemistry where we watched videos.  That teacher let me go to the library instead of to lunch and the class many days.  He was funny.  I had him for Geology as well.  He would get up there and say how he was teaching the one person who was listening.  He gave up every semester.  No teacher likes that job, but he wasn't abusive about it.

The system needs to change and push us into careers, kind of like Germany does. I'm not saying their system is perfect, but yeah.

For the love of God, children are still developing, and the brain can make up for shortcomings if intervention is done early enough.  However, wasting efforts on academic core classes is stupid.  It was like a "home of your own."  You'd have to be snorting crack to think those people could afford a house. They use us to suck funds from the government.  It's like how people who "help" with poverty take up so many resources.

My life is chaotic and unpredictable.

Same with school.

The problem is they squeeze us into a closet without windows, give us extra work, test the living shit out of us, and we are to bow to other students who are deserving of education.  We also have teachers who have to work with a hundred of different disabilities and have to be able to teach all subjects. 

I like to read textbooks, and I have a few obsessions due to abuse.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/devos-disabilities-web-site_us_58a0fd7ae4b094a129ec35b8

And, yes, I know some people will mature and be able to handle normal subjects.  That's why civilizations need things like the "Open University" in the UK.  Plus, you can work through textbooks on your own.  If you turn out to be a genius, then you'll just have to accept life isn't always fair.  Some get pushed under the rug for whatever reason.  We all have to fight to be free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVIh1MFWDVw I'm a failure... Damn Jamaican Eclipse. 





Disabilitiy abuse is rampant in society

I have to have my grandma stand up for me, or I will lose.  People will ignore the horrible things they do to me.  It was like with the VA.  I called the hospital and asked to speak with someone about making a pamphlet about the fact mentally ill people are not immortal.  We can suffer from injuries, too.  They gave me a lawyer, and I was like, "I'm not going to sue you..."  She was like, "You don't have the money to sue me."  Rude.

Teachers would tell the other students I needed special help, and it made me even more of a loser.  The kids used to put an "L" on their forehead when I was around them.  Rude.

Good thing I was delusional, or I would have killed myself.  My family went through hard times in HS, and my school was anything but empathetic.  For example, when my stepdad had heart problems, I had to stay home until my grandparents arrived because they were little.  The teachers docked me participation points, and the attendance woman threatened me.  Mom actually stood up for me that time from the ER.

But I cannot stand up for myself.  I will be crushed.

I had this wonderful Orchestra teacher who made me sit in the back of the classroom and write papers about composures instead of giving me an issued violin that the district was supposed to give students who didn't have their own instruments.  I had one, but its bridge broke.  Like I said, we went through tough times when I was in HS.  She embarrassed the living shit out of me.  I know I have NO musical talent.  However, she could have taken me to the office to get in another class.  I know I hurt her ears, but she was rude.

When I worked, my managers would schedule me during times I asked off, like to take a test.  I managed As and Bs at first. However, my reaction to cold weather eventually got to me, and I couldn't make it to school anymore.  I have a ton of sympathy grades.  I give up. 

In the army, the males came after me.  I was young, and their head games messed with me.  Now I"d be like, "Whatever."  Anyway, they need to force men and women to go into the army after HS.  If there were more women, it wouldn't be as much of a problem.  Other countries do it.  My sergeant stood up for me though.  I couldn't help the schizophrenia.  He really tried to bring me back to Earth, but it didn't work.

As far as C goes, we got into a fight over a boy.  I told her he asked me on a date when he'd been messing with her, and she blamed me inside. A lot of other people gave her Hell.  She eventually bloomed out of it.  She's a lot stronger than I am.  Sorry. I'm bleeding with my wounds.  Stupid music.  I froze for a while.  In the first ward, it was a three day nap.  I asked the staff, and they said they've had people do that all of the time and some for thirty days.  She didn't understand why I reacted so much.  I'm trying to make my masters happy.  Regression and obsession.  I like pink ponies.

If they cared, why didn't they give my neurotic ass a lobotomy then?  No, they wait for me to be total trash after chasing and raping me over and over--and other things. Chasing me, using weapons, making me dumber.  Anyway, I thought she was after me and blew up.  I should have been reported by CID a long time before I was.  I don't know why the FSB didn't turn me in either.  We had to do the movie and songs. Pump up the volume in an ordinary day.  I love you, baby.   You're my daddy.  I have teeth now, and there's more of me to love.

I was off my rocker.  It is relevant, and it's a good excuse, C.  People who aren't mentally ill don't get the loss of will we experience.  they have to confront us.  CBT will help us. Other countries do that, too.   You can't drug an elephant to do calculus.  We try to.

Now that I have a mental illness noted, I attract even more pleasant things.  If I disagree, I'm ill.  Oh well.

PS about the music... Even if you think I'm just feeling sorry for myself (happened later because I got addicted to emotion), abused people will have a reaction.  I split away from myself to try to follow my programming.  Deathstars  get me then.   This is totally corrupt.  You can't win.





Putin tried to get me to kill myself--his government is voting against it

It's okay, you aren't the first, buddy.  I did think you were God, glorious, and I was nothing.  Congrats, you got a claw in my back that has tortured me for a long time.  You've blocked me by attacking my computer if I come by.  You are creative.

It's unhealthy for me to see you.  You make me aggressive, even numbed.  You're an asshole.  I already have one of my own.  I don't need another.

People have been trying to get me to kill myself for a long time.  At one point in my life, I was in so much pain that I wanted it to stop.  I tried to get the cops to kill me when I had that headache.  Then my schizophrenia got so bad I sprayed blood on the walls and did the head banging (psychotronic people didn't help).  The punk came into the bathroom and put his hand in my face.  That was inappropriate.  I never said anything.  They used Putin against me, the machines.  I would have told him to "fuck off" otherwise.  Excuse my language today.

They were giving me advice.  Bitch.

The thing with suicide is that it's a personal choice.  There are plenty of ways to die, and if you really want to, you can do it. You don't need Breaking Benjamin and his "poetry." Spells. You aren't a bad person for being expensive.

Anyway, every time I've tried to kill myself, I haven't said a word until I was in the final moments.  My body betrayed me though, and it shut off my brain in self-preservation.  Maybe I'm a part of a zooit. 

And I get that Grimes wants to help, and some of the others, too, but there are many others who are using us.  One has to be careful with Zoroastrianism.  It's a wicked world, especially in the US.  We're too incited.  You guys could probably make a difference if you set up clinics.  I know you're too busy fighting the drug companies.  As I've said a billion times, brain adjustments will be like getting braces in the future.


Sunday, February 12, 2017

I usually try to use my creativity to solve problems

I joke, but I'm not funny.  The FBI has been chilling me for a while by slipping in sentences I didn't write, like to Lana Del Rey.  I never used her.  I love her though.  I follow patterns, so it's easy to tell when I am not speaking.

The KIA has had to do some shit though, to survive.

As far as the FBI goes, we haven't had a good relationship. I tried to report about the video and all the people attacking me.  The FBI is like a wife beater.  They go above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to dealing with someone.  The CIA woman annoyed me. 

Good thing I don't pay taxes.

I wrote two books and a short story.  I put them up to laugh at them and their new "religion."  I'm going to get slaughtered by them mortally and spiritually.  I might as well have fun.  That's what I decided in Virginia when they were all over me.  Let's go, fellows!

Also, 

I've been accused of namedropping, but they put me in their videos and songs.  Do you like that? Do you want to play a game with me, Marilyn Manson?

Face me.

I thought Putin might have been punishing me for the C incident as well.  I found the punishment inappropriate, as I'm schizophrenic.  I'm not saying I was good to do that. I asked her if she wanted to go to court, but she said, "no." 

No one has asked me that.  Gotta love being a pariah.  I'm damaged from them.  C isn't.

Instead of enduring an unconstitutional beating of the soul and mind, I wish they would have done some CBT with me.  Other countries do.  They have better outcomes with their schizophrenic patients.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS8sqgBgzG8

"We don't have to live like this."


Attention Whoring

I am often called an attention whore.  Stick to the name.  Anyway, if I exist at all, people will say that I'm craving attention.  I was kind of neurotic in the military when I got into it with Strawberrydrink, the mathematician. 

I don't agree with you, Kaela.

Shut up, Kaela!

It's like, well then stay away from me.  I talk to soda cans and walls.  Did you see my picture on YouTube?  It's from isolation, like the beach ball on castaway.

Other people are lovely as well.

I don't have very good social skills.  I think I spoke three words in HS altogether to avoid being attacked and the threat of the room: special ed room.  I kept a group of friends around me so that I would attract negative attention.  They turned out to be great.  Like so many others, thank God I'm not in HS anymore.

 I am a failure at being an adult.

Well, whatever, don't pay attention to me if you think I'm an attention whore.  Instead, they react in the same way they accuse me of being bad.

I have bad karma.  I'm screwed this lifetime.  I'll come back as a T-rex and rule the jungle with my big mouth.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Trade Snowden for Kaela!

Eddie is even dumber than I am.  I'm not sure if that's a compliment.  I want to be smart like a rock.  Now I'm just fat and bones.

Let's start:

“No country trades away spies, as the rest would fear they’re next,” he said.

Spies have different worth and agendas.  It's like playing chess.  You kill the pawns, no problem.  The only way there is hope for you is if you have skills they can use.  Then they'll convert you.

I'm screwed.  Eddie couldn't argue with the experts in Russia.  That's why you don't break the chain.  +coughs at Putin addressing me+  Real just.

Eddie can come do my year in Virginia.  Torture chamber comes to you, no laws.  Next time, I'll tell Putin to google it, no big secret, lots of loafers.  He has a minor phobia of the internet.  I think my current face reaffirms his fears. 

Honestly, how much did Putin thank God we aren't related?  At least I'm not partaking in incest.

Anyway..

Even leaving the USA with some information in your brain could be espionage.  I guarantee you the Russians looked into his mind and got all his passwords, hacked and are happy. 

Why did they feel the need to torment me?  I didn't flee.  I told them over and over again.  I couldn't help my mind being infested with a virus.  I didn't try to escape.  I even wrote it on RT so that I'd be arrested.  I was tired of them. 

It's always me.

And I want you to know, Putin, that you had no business doing that.  You gave yours 6 years.  I didn't sell Putin information.  As far as how he treated me with coldness, I don't even do that to my hobo suitors.  Respect something, don't make me dirty and destroyed.  I am human.

http://nypost.com/2017/02/10/russia-considers-returning-snowden-to-us-as-gift-to-trump-report/



Freedom of Squeaks!

In the US, we're often told we have freedom of speech and freedom of protest, but you can't really say everything you want to because you're connected into the system.  If you call someone a "nigger," you can expect a box with your stuff in it the next day. 

We must eat. 

Here, we are also trained to be chaotic and confusing, or we used to be.  We're having a few definers wreck the place for themselves.  That's who I'd go after in the KIA: Kaela's Intelligence Agency.

And world peace.

Now we run into a few problems with freedom of speech. One, the higher classes are going to go after the lower classes, and they know what to look for and what is competition by words.  They will exploit the poor and slaughter the usual class crashers. 

We're better.


Another issue that drives me nuts is the middle class of Disney movies.  Call them civilized, if you want.  They will be social justice warriors and base everything on their peace or lifestyle.  When they apply it to the world, they look "special." 

Been there, done that.  It's so "fair" and "polite."


Thursday, February 9, 2017

I'm sure I'm to blame for their mushroom clouds, too, especially the ones they ingest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTLTXDHrgtw


Grimes won't even let us talk on her video.  The way they are doing this is so dumb.  They have to do tricks.  If they weren't corrupt, she'd gain ten pounds, as she's obviously anorexic. 

She's saving the planet on retard at a time.  I know I'm a threat to global peace, but they don't want to put in the work of being elected, dealing with corruption or having to take responsibility for their actions.  I mean, they left me with so much pain for 8.5 months.  They "care."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGfwHuWx5as "You love the way I look at you while taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through." --LP

I wish all of you a slow and painful death.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXTKDwbLatk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVWazHTunSI&list=RDwVWazHTunSI "remember who you really are."