The Broken Heart and The"Special" Friends.

So, I doubt you care. I don't expect you to. The main problem comes in when people do for the wrong reasons.

It's true. I was in special education, and the experience left me a little fiery. People didn't treat me right, and I was shunned by teachers and peers.

We all know who is going nowhere.

And here's where the annoying part comes in... we're a cliché now. Bands like "Placebo" use their lobotomy rays to make us shut up. They cluster all of us in the same group, and then it's bye, bye brain.

I think I spoke around a paragraph my entire time in middle and high school. I didn't develop as a person, and I was under a lot of stress from being tormented by people. I had occasional outbursts.

I would like to be strong, don't get me wrong. However, that isn't, and wasn't, allowed. I couldn't tell my abusers to "shove it up their ass" because that would make me a "bully."

They know they can manipulate me.

I know I should move past this, and I tried. Unfortunately for me, I developed a weak spot and had invested emotion. I know the sociopaths love that, and they had me banging walls for a while, like I matter.

I don't.

They think it's funny. We're losers, after all. "Work Bitch?" I was trying. Now it's destroyed, as usual.

Don't all jump at once to judge me. Use me.

The School Shooter and Other Losers

For a good deal of my life, I was accused of being a future school shooter. The idea didn't materialize in my head until it was said constantly.

No, I will never kill your children. It has nothing to do with me being a good person or whatever--Lord knows I'm denied that. Despite a lobotomy, my fire is still ablaze. However, my hobbies are holding me back, an invisible fence, so to say. I like to be out in the snow, write and swim. Prison, thus, isn't my dream.

Anyway, Madonna, Breaking Benjamin and Bjork are all trying to save the planet, and they are doing dirty deeds as their appetizer. They don't know the actual signs of someone who is losing it, nor are they being efficient about it.

I was operated on multiple times. Plus, I'm still heavily medicated...

Indeed, I did go insane. I won't deny that. I screamed, ran and let it all out. I was having one of those realizations; my life is a lie. The rainbows had left my atmosphere.

Plenty of adults go through that. In our culture we have the saying, "Waking Up." Smash a few windows, spend a few nights in a psych world and flip off the assholes of the world, like Putin.

Fuck you, Putin.