Annoying People Out of My Head

So, I don't talk to a relative very much.  This time, I decided to fight back.

She said plenty of horrible things about me, which is normal for her.  She lied and said she was willing to pay for my school.  It's like, I feel as though I'm in danger when you're around me, and I doubt you have the money.

I don't want to be under her rule.

Last time I let her into my apartment, she said I assaulted her and threw herself out.  I did not.  When I was being abused, she ran away.  She's a wimp.

Yay.

To the abuse, almost every guilty party who is in my life has changed.  If they haven't changed their other habits, they no longer attempt to hold me down.  I don't have school teachers telling everyone about my dead uncle and the fact I'm a special girl and need their special help.

She wants to remind me.

I fired my psychologist because talking about what happened to me is more of a bother than a help.  It's not like I'll ever get real revenge, nor should I seek it.  Anyone who follows me knows it is only enabling to continue to dwell on the horrid things I went through. 

Rarely does anyone care about the truth.  She is fixated, thinking people let her truth win.  And most of it is nonsense.

I can't imagine her raising a child.

She said I wanted to be taken care of, like a child.  It's like, yes, I had some issues with that, and I got my wish.  I have the rights of a minor child.  She said some truth.  I used to long for my parents to love me.  That's how the Putin thing happened.  Daddy.  Oh well, I am but a human.  I have issues.  The world has mountains.

I don't care if you're a hardcore, KGB spy, Putin, you have had rocks thrown at you as well.  And I want to fuck you.  There's the end of the conversation.

To whom I belong

If you don't know me, and you probably don't, you can see that I have put a lot of effort into survival.  I enjoy life these days.  I have a new appreciation of it.

Anyway...

Yes, I had to spread all over the internet to survive.  I'm not the brightest, but neither is most of the population.  They use the old trick of saying that I'm stupid and don't deserve anything.  I owe them for being in their presence.  Now, I was in special ed, and I can tell you plenty of children who made it through and work.  They were protected from what I went into, trying to keep my soul together.

  You have no idea what I've been through in many respects.  I know I'm unpopular. I've never been popular.  People hate me.  These psychotronic people use losers like me to broadcast their cases, to make it appear as if I should be at their mercy. 

Fuck off and do yourselves.

They spent a while chasing me and making fun of me instead of their "charity."  I'm used to that.  The final straw, however, soon came when they messed with my mind without permission or a court order.  They did it more than once and refuse to pay for the destruction of my soul.

They didn't even bother to hold me down.

There is no accountability.  It's like, if you're going to do this slavery thing, you're going to have to have chains of command, like in the army.  These people, the psychotroinc people, want to have all the gold without the effort.  They expect their servants to do everything for them.

Anger means nothing.

I wish Putin would pay me for what he did, but he's too busy for a peasant. I'm used to that as well, but it irritates me. Madonna could as well.

I love the house on 1343 Hideaway, Galena, MO.  I think it's fair.

Simple Song: Black Tears

Alien humanity,
Don't cry for me
Alien humanity
Do cry for we 

See, see, be
Black tears
Bring cancer's immortality
From heaven

We saw such ashes
And human attachments
With filth in our lashes
Call it entrapment
The effects all lasted

See, see, be
Black tears
Bring cancer's immortality
From heaven

Alien humanity,
Don't cry for me
Alien humanity
Do cry for we 

See, see, be
Black tears
Bring cancer's immorality
From heaven

Don't drink black tears
They come from mirrors
You are the  guilty fears
Voices all hear and I die

"The Thinning"

So, someone read my book, "Dawn of the Hives" and changed a few things.  I think it is kind of original in most aspects, but yeah.  It might just be me.  It's hard to sit through that whole book it was so crappy and poorly written.

Sorry, to anyone's eyes that bled through it.

I don't mind really. They did a better job either way.

I'm not a great writer.  I have accidentally copied people myself.  I had to trash a whole novel because it was like "Occultus" (can't remember how they spelled that).  I called it, "Mirror Memory."  My angle was that generations had to pay for a ritual sacrifice done by the protagonist's great grandma who had killed a bunch of kids.

The evil great grandma and the children were in the mirror.

Oh well.  It's my opinion, and I would never press it, even if it were more obvious.  I'm not looking to dig in pockets. 

May the best author win!

Don't be insulted that I thought this.  I don't consider myself a real author yet.  I could be making illusory correlations on a cliché battle ground.

Just Fighting to Fight--The Now-Not-So-Young Warrior

For a long time, I've fought issues like fascism, communism, plain socialism.  I liked my tastes to "Brave New World," and I was an avid fighter, like Ms. Katniss.  I justified the norm of humanity, the one I know, from "The Giver."

I get pretty far because the zombies are easy to walk around and through. 

As I've aged a bit, with a few grey hairs rising, I've realized that my viewpoint is nothing more than paranoia.

Dystopias seem primitive to me now.  I can see holes in the usual teeth.  They use similar scare tactics.  The world didn't end with the invention of a camera.  What could a satellite do?  Annoy us.

Besides, it's wiser not to bite the apple in the garden.  Good luck, celebs!  ;)

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And the Gods Return--Agenda 21

Agenda 21 has been on my mind for a while.  Well, it has been since I saw the musical gangs, corrupt Hindu symbols and celebrities oozing over immortality (good luck in this universe).  It should be called , "Prolonged life."  For example, Allah gives Muslims 1000 years. 

Okay, that's nice.

In the United States, we're fed a decent amount of paranoia, especially to the average person, and we incite them.  What could us average joes possibly do?

Get a gun.

Save the world. 

  Movies and books like, "1984" and "The Hunger Games" show us time and again what could happen.

But what could happen?  Can we right the wrongs of this world and be efficient?

I wrote a dystopia. It wasn't good, as I am still a tyro after all these years.  I put together their arguments, but it was too simple.

Now it's time for me to whine:  On a personal note, I am often on the wrong side of the gun.  They expect so much of me to justify the kill.  I agree to not have children.  Can that be enough? 

Can I go hide now?