So, people expect certain behaviors from other people. They want others to greet them, to listen to them and to agree with them/have a civil conversation (usually about nothing). These behaviors do not show themselves when overruled by schizophrenia, however.
Many times, we are seen as being insane, not knowing good from evil, not good, whole, decent. We are told we are sick, and our opinions don't matter. We don't matter.
The sane people of the world find us annoying, and they try to hide us or harm us--depending on the person.
Never was there so dull a soul who wasn't insane.
Anyway, in the depth of psychosis, we are not logical, nor are we following expected behavior. A lot of people rise up against us, and try to correct us, when it's pointless. I say it over and over again. Yes, I hear voices (or cues), and I contradict myself. I live in a tornado. I can't help that. That's why I have headphones on when I'm alone in public. It keeps me focused, and it keeps people from annoying me. I didn't do that in Virginia (as I still thought the voices were real), and I would have people point and say in lowered voices, "She's crazy." I'm not going to go into my delusions. I still have them. I know they aren't real, but they embarrass me. They're woven into my thoughts. I'm just smile when they rise up.
I know I've made a lot of people mad with my thought process, and I am working on it.
I'm still not pretty though. I try to cloak it as much as I can, but I still offend others.
And there are others..
Take Monica Punk for example: she has some major cognitive problems, but people fail to recognize that and respect her as a fellow human being. Instead, they want to invade her world and set it straight by their measure. She's fun to hate, which is stupid.
People are lame.
Kaela,
ReplyDeleteYou said something both right and wise on RT, so much so that I had to look up your name. Your comment was suggesting someone not "get sucked into the news' attention-grabbing ratings plan" that basically makes the listener or viewer feel like "the world is ending". You were candid enough and brave enough to make yourself vulnerable and to show him/her that you can related, by adding, by telling them that "the news used to stress me out, too"
I want to say a few supportive things to you here, and not just for the sake of being supportive butt because they are really true. Namely, you show more self-reflection and understanding of yourself, like stepping back and looking from the outside in, than most people, including most "sane" people do.
You also show a lot of wisdom in the first two minutes of your humorously self deprecatingly titled,
Fat Parasite Argues With Air Once Again" and I just had to close it because it's super late.
And I'm about to say anyway that we all have issues, and mine is not only staying up too late but being a perfectionist who will beat up on themselves if they are not careful about "I should watch the whole thing otherwise she will not know she is respected" but all of us have issues, and little demons we wrestle with and yes sometimes big ones...But hang in these and be strong...and keep having compassion for yourself...what you already know before I tell you is: the world is "crazy". Not just the "sane" people but the world as a whole with the wars and media and media lies etc...is "crazy". But....if we all work, I think we can make it less "crazy" (in the bad sense of the word) and more compassionate. Even if that's not true, we should try.
We should try because, at least, if we try, it will "suck" less...because if we are mean on purpose it will just get worse. If we try to be compassionate towards others (after first showing compassion towards oneself) then there is at least a chance that things will get better, and at least they will get not-as-worse-and-worse than if we had not tried. So let's try :-)
Very well done video, which I did watch all the way through, your "Schizophrenic vs Psychiatrist"
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to
be happy, practice compassion" -The Dalai Lama
He meant practice compassion towards others, even if your only goal is happiness for yourself...but as others have pointed out, it's kind of like what they say on the airplane: put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you try to help put a mask on the person next to you, because otherwise if you pass out you won't be able to do anyone any good, you won't be able to help them...so compassion towards oneself is key..
One of the most powerful healers in the world that I know of...and he does not use drugs but you can use his audio healing meditations either with or without any prescriptions (in other words, he doesn't ask you to quit medications...that can be dangerous..but his stuff helps whether one is taking a lot, or a little, or no medications, is the idea) is Dr. Emmett Miller, M.D. who invented the world's first relaxation tape in the 1970s.Just google his name for his page. He has free audio samples too..
Feel free to drop me a note on gmail (same name as shows up here, econdemocracy) if I don't show up here again..but even if I don't see you again,take care of yourself and remember you are valuable! You are a once-only even in the history of the universe, peace to you :-)
Thanks for your reply.
DeleteI wish the psychotronic people would have left me alone. I was quiet, shy and, for the most part, content. Now I'm a broken mind.
They hurt me and stressed me out quite a bit. I was working on my issues and contemplating suicide. I think they should have left me alone.
It's weird because now I want to live in my subhuman form. I drank too much death and lived to be hungover the next morning, you know? I have never had such an urge to live as when I struggled against death. I'm not good at the final moments.
I've always been strange. People don't like me because I don't interact as much with society's reality. They don't invite me in, but they don't realize themselves.
I used to be whole, but then my ego was killed. I'm bits and pieces of my former self.