Being Pathetic

The littlest violin begins to play...

I've had to endure the dumb argument of, "fair is fair."  It's actually, "Fair is fair to you."  I'm a fool, and I've bought into it a few times, thinking I wasn't allowed to earn things or do things because I'm unworthy.  They'll flash their 150, and they'll expect me to bow down when they've done nothing but demand some sort of birthright.

You have to pay for the ice cream.   I don't have to buy it for you, and you don't get my place in line.

Like many others, the public education system caught me in hard times, and I was forced into remedial classes and extra help, which basically made my homework time explode, and it scrambled my brain with an array of subjects. 

Why was I in special ed?  It was the same vanity of a deception others feel is fair. 

What happened was I was in an experimental class in first grade.  They taught us to read by sight and not phonetics.  Sight takes longer to catch onto, and it makes spelling uber special sometimes.  They took my IQ and found it was 130, but I was performing horribly.

I love the basement.

I couldn't read.  They kept giving me more and more assignments, keeping me in the grade with normal kids, just because some moron in charge didn't bother to ask why I couldn't spell things out. 

My second grade teacher also hated my grandma, and she took it out on me.  My clothes' pin was always rising up on the punishment chart for things like, "Not finding a place in line."  I was usually in the special room, but I came back for lunch and had no idea how we were to line up. 

I also had a lot of family problems, including incest, alcohol, verbal abuse, drugs and neglect.  I won't get into it.

I eventually went crazy, and the school got involved again.

I've tried many times to escape my fate, but I'm not strong enough.

I used to go psycho about intelligence and fair is fair.  I've learned it doesn't matter.  It's best to distance myself away from harm.  I don't have to do it anymore. 

Yes, I matter.  I am not going to worship you.

Vent over...

Everyone has a least one crazy member, been abused somehow and spent time in the river against the current.