Whatever

Of course, use that crutch.  +long story+  Is it that hard to do the right thing?

Today's Total Namedrops: Putin Loves Britney Spears and Zuckerberg

So, as I've explained, the elites in various fields are vessels from which the old, power-hungry nerds plan various tasks.  Go back to playing "World of Warcraft."  Also, it's just like in India where they sing about killing the dalits and other moral tales.

Britney put me in her song, "Work Bitch."  She scolds me, and I've had plenty of them harass me since and before.

Why don't I have a job?  Well, my brain was already fragile from childhood.  When they tried to kill me and fix me, I was not properly restrained and hit my head.  The change damaged my already broken brain.

I have such luck.

It should be noted that  I used to get violent over sex.  I really, really didn't want it, and they kept using that ray.

Anyway, I don't have a job because my mind is destroyed.

The army compensated me for what happened while I was in, admitting that the life-stressors of the military caused me to become psychotic.  They made that decision, and it shouldn't be contested with our gadflies..

I am entitled to a salary until I can find gainful employment.  I signed a contract.  It isn't up to Ms. Spears or any of the others.

In fact, we're having a hard time with all of them.  Yes, I know the government rules are cumbersome, but they have to be voted on and analyzed before they can be bypassed.  Not doing so will cause destabilization, and that's just annoying.

I will say that I had a shitty life-view a few years ago.  I honestly didn't think there was mobility in the social structure of our country.  I was raised as a poormouth.  Now I know I can earn things.  I earned my pension.  If I write a famous novel (fantasy), I can become rich (fantasy).

Putin can keep sucking up to them and blocking me.  He's worthless anyway, always a badass.

Oh, and an update, the group leader asked us what color "violet" was.  It should have been "purple."  But, with the other brain damaged man and myself, we said blue because "Roses are red and violets are blue."  My mental process is quite odd.

Violets Are Blue--An Insight

So, I've been on the ward for the past week. 

As usual, I saw a doctor for less than ten minutes and tried to read for the rest of the time.  I hated the feeling and was losing my mind to delirium due to the meds.

I checked myself in because I was having difficulty with my meds and was being ignored or given bad advice by other routes.  In my brain, I wasn't hallucinating, a little anxious but not depressed, which I told them several times.

I always say, "I'm sorry" to people because I can't guess their emotional state.  And yes, they've tested me for autism, but I came up negative.  I took the IQ test like a schizophrenic.

I didn't go in there thinking I was delusional or paranoid.  Again, I can't guess what people mean, and I've gotten in a lot of trouble with this due to schizophrenia and other things slightly more vague.  I'm learning to say nothing or "thank you" instead.  It makes me upset to interact in person sometimes.  It's a lot of stress, but I try to deal with it.  People who know me are used to it.

My doctor said I had insight into my delusions this time, which is surprising for a schizophrenia.  That's because half of them aren't delusions.  I'm confused by the cowards around.

And when I attempted to explain what was happening during the seven minutes he saw me one day was that my cognitive abilities were breaking down, and I was starting to have a hard time understanding simple situations, like when someone left me a compliment on my story, and I thought he was going to edit my mind for like thirty minutes.  For the love of God, they had me on three high doses of antipsychotics.

I couldn't take it anymore.

Martians were invading.  I know people like to discredit me because they think I want off work, like Britney Spears (I'm not saying this to be psychotic). As a punishment, I point to the medical file and put most of my private information online so that they leave me alone.

There is some sad news.

And guess what +tear+ nobody asked me on a date :'(  LOL  I'm getting old and ugly.  We did have a group, and this other guy was cool with me.  His wife is currently MIA, but he wasn't into me like that, just had fun talking to him about whores in other countries, as he'd been in a while and overseas. Also, what was totally cool was that we both said violets are blue.  The counselor looked at me and said, "Violets are NOT blue" very sternly.  We'd been talking about REM sleep, and I replied back that platypuses had 14 hours of REM sleep compared to petty humans.  We aren't special.  Well, I guess those of us who can't think of things real quick live in a world where violets are blue.