Counseling between Kali and the Maya Sun

Peer Counseling: Kali and the Maya Sun

Counselor: Okay, you’re both here to discuss the problems you have with each other.  Who would like to go first?

Maya Sun: Do not insult me, for I am a Sir Pippy Poppinghagon the 8th, the chosen Maya Sun of the World.

Counselor: Kali, how do you feel about this?

Kali: that his family couldn’t come up with a better name for eight generations.  

Counselor: Please hold the witty remarks.  Let’s try again. What bothers you about Sir Poppinghagon?

Kali: He keeps trying to kill me, and he made rules that will end in my family’s death no matter what I do.  

Counselor: What kind of things is he doing?

Kali: Well, as every Ivy Tower intellectual, he’s yearning for purpose.  He sits in the Tower all day thinking about humanity and how it should fit his model.  He has created death squads and lobotomies around us to give a psychological feel that he knows and sees everything and thinks he knows how to fix it.

Maya Sun: She doesn’t know her place in the world.  She insults her betters.  

Counselor: Kali?

Kali: I don’t think this jackass understands the “peasant” world.  They meet in different Towers and discuss their impressive vocabulary over tea while hunting us for fun, what a leader..  

Maya Sun: You do not understand the power of the intellect.

Kali: You don’t understand the fallacy of free will and the choices we have. I’ve told you many times that I can’t live on my own like this without being harassed, that my babies won’t be right, but you continue to give people the authority to kill me for the same damn things.   

Maya Sun: Should know the consequences of her actions. Let us teach her.  

Kali: Okay, another lesson.  Would you like to cut out my clitoris on live TV and make Marilyn Manson eat it and lick the blood as I slowly die? I know you like being hardcore  You’ll be so happy because passing out from lack of blood is rather demonic.  How would I know?  Do you know what happens when you lose a lot of blood and burn to death?  

Maya Sun: The lesson shall be 100 lashes with the cat-of-nine tales, licking feces, and then we shall shoot her 200 times with a machine gun.

Kali: I don’t think that’s going to teach me much, just saying.

Maya Sun: We’ll put her in an unmarked grave and her skull mounted at the top.  

Kali: Cool.  At least the Maya Sun acknowledges that I’ll be dead. Have fun getting all the bones from your lesson.  

Counselor: I think this is getting out of control.  

Maya Sun: I’m glad you agree.  

Kali: Laughs.  Can I go now? It’s impossible to penetrate the depth of his out-of-touchness.  

Counselor: What are your guys’ plans. It seems as though you will not get along.  Should we do more counseling?  

Kali: I’d like a restraining order.

Maya Sun: You will do as you’re told. 

Kali: Then I’m going to keep showing you. You left me with tears.  Enjoy them because it’s the only thing I can barely feel. I think it’s the only way to get through to you.  My job is not the best job in the universe, but we go through it together.