So, I was pretty upset last night. I can't get angry. All I can do is cry. My sister not only didn't want me to come to her baby shower, but she deleted my reply asking if she wanted something. I've given my sister tons of money, been nice to her when she treats me like shit, and I've tried to help her. I'm used to not being included, which is why I liked A so much in HS. I mean, my siblings all threw a birthday party for my stepdad and didn't invite me.
The problem for me is that I have to have connections, or I will be hunted down, thus, just for fun like Marilyn Manson did. It doesn't matter what I say. They will put words into my mouth. I've tried changing so many times. People are like, do this, do that, and when I did those things, there was no change.
I've tried to kill myself several times. People try to kill me. I've realized that the kind of people I let near me is a problem, but what do you do about family? Since I don't bring anything to the table, as they say, I eat on the floor with the dogs. It's this way for many of the disabled. Just like I've been entrapped by the FBI 4 times, I will absorb all sin, the dark ONE.
Then I get all of these cliches thrown at me.
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