Trapped in my grave

 Hello, wall! Hello, Kaela. 

Anyway, I'm going to vent a bit about man problems.  

I've always had issues.  The second I received that * star, my social life is over along with everything else.  It's strange. You'd think we'd bond, but we're all trying to distract ourselves from others. Human shields.  I just gathered dirt on everyone for survival purposes.

Since they treated special ed children so horribly while I was growing up, most kids didn't want a thing to do with me.  There are many schools that do not encourage the harassment of the disabled and flow.  The kids still respect each other.  There's a cute high school girl I know who is perfectly healthy and just goes through school with everyone else.  Sometimes, you have to accept that the basics are it, that you are your own measure, and that life doesn't have to be a trashcan of rotting maggots.  

Anyway, so don't think I got away. When I was at work, I ended up fired for not dating a guy, and people said rumors that I liked so and so at many places, and it went downhill.  I was surprised that Marilyn Manson even used the imaginary vampire to nail me as well. New low for him. Yes, at 19, I would occasionally develop feelings for people over me and had the same awkwardness be the target of another love.  I tried to distance myself and use mechanisms that MM blasted through, and I ended up thinking that Putin was Indra, God, my father, etc. And they were surprised. They should have allowed me to bask in his glory in the mental hospital forever. They only take me out of safe zones to kill me or try to force me to do activities on their "community health" list.  Go away. 

I wrote a Facebook message to a friend and questioned why I had crushes on people above me.  She said she had schoolgirl crushes as well.  I become unsure about what I'm allowed to have or not. I wasn't used to choices and relations of even iffy areas.  I made the wrong person angry despite her.  It happens.  There went my entire existence.  

While being tortured, I went into animal mode.  I'm a bit feral, so my instincts were a lot stronger.  That kept me alive, but Jesus, a better life? After listening to my social worker talking about how wonderful it is that we have choices in life, I'm like, wow.  I end up trapped and desperate.  Fear and force. The psychotronic people are even worse.  We don't want those low-paying jobs, and to be looked down on.  I won't get into all of the tricks tonight. Instead of having our 17 agencies of slave masters over all 4 of us who aren't special, those places should pay people or disappear with robots.  All they are serving is the worst cuts of meat, fried with flour, syrup, and pure sugar.  It's not food.

I want them to suffer, the psychotronic people. That's a healthy desire that frees our species from so much crap.  I don't vote, even when I could. When is the government going to admit that we're under a dictatorship that does not allow free speech or freedom of expression? That we have masters over us who we have to follow? That their family and wives and others can deaden us or kill us if we exist near them, like their husband, or anything else. We have no autonomy, especially if we speak out of our places that we don't know we have to begin with.  We don't want to be zombies. I miss the feeling of life.

I hate the US. It's like, oops, I did it again. I couldn't avoid it.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZzbxNoMjGM

From this A.I. Story, Detective falls... "My wife is dead. I will save you." 

Have I had that fantasy? I talked to Mrs. Putina. She was the blender in the bar.  We are all children of God. Basically, my low social status makes me accept a lot if something is better.  I've heard of the wife killing several times, going to have to get rid of its meaning and blast it in comedy instead of fury and fire.  Some thoughts are given to us so that we don't do something bad, such as jumping off a cliff.