Other Crazies

So, I've been trying to get Putin to pay me the settlement for years now.  I spent some of those years in agony from a head injury, which was brought on by Putin's influence and using the picture that inspired everyone to "cure"/"kill me."  I don't understand some people.  Why are they so emotional over a simple transaction?


The first crazy I got thought I wanted to marry Putin and wouldn't leave me alone about it. This was after the incident with the attempted suicide nor "friends with cures."  We'll leave the weird father-daughter dynamic out of it.

Sorry, I'm not a sociopath.  Other people have issues, too. Why are mine so damn important? 

Oh well.  She did nothing to me but rant about how Putin wouldn't marry me, and she wouldn't stop.  On the dream machine, I confessed the depth of my soul, countless words never to be emulated again.

"What do you want?"
"To give Putin an erection."
"What?"
"There are Russians at the window."

So much for that machine making us tell the truth.  I really, really wanted to fuck Putin.  I was at that age.  Little ball of frustration.  So. Damn. Desperate.  I hate being ugly.  Anyway, I don't want to marry Putin.  That would be awkward and impossible, really.  I do not know much about Russian culture.  I happen to think their leader is hot even still, but I can't feel it, just think it. 

I love you, baby.

Another crazy came around, and now I'm a terrorist.  There was a time I had to spread all over the internet to survive, as things are still fragile at the moment.  As for doing it on purpose, I have an IQ of 116 and severe memory problems.  Are you joking? I was.  I was desperately trying to keep them away.  I don't even know how to blow anyone up.  I understand grenades (which I'm good at) and the M16. 

I want the settlement, Putin.