Triggers

I hate to use the word "trigger."  It reminds me of the way our brains have been raped.  I became aware of it around 20.  I'd had triggers before that, but I wasn't a conscious being yet.

I spent a lot time in angry land with triggers and their delusions.  I couldn't think. 

I read a comment I'd written recently, and I know it could have bothered people, but I haven't been able to express myself PC for a long time because my brain has been altered.  The comment was made about how underprivileged students got everything, and I had to work blah, blah, and I had to join the army to get school.

School has been a goal for a long time.  If only I could go fulltime, I'd be like them.  Satan played a joke on me where he had me jump through various hoops, and, in the end, I became even more disabled.

haha

Back in the day, people were really cruel to me about school, and it was treated like a privilege.  Like you guys know, I was in special education, and it hurt my education because we sat in a room with many others and got the answers given to us.

I harbored  a lot of hate in my heart from all that, and I went into myself.  I had some family problems growing up, too, and I became tired of always taking the blame and owing people.

The triggers and their delusions caused me to do some stupid things.  Not anymore.  I am a person, and I can be wronged, like with what Putin did.  I try so hard... and it never works. Not whining anymore, and I'm not giving up.

Anyway, I don't hate underprivileged people.  They have their burdens--more than me.  We all do, no matter what class you're in.

BTW, if you asked half of the people on the street about privilege, single moms, welfare queens black people and Medicaid, you'd get some nasty hearts, too.  It's why the psychotronic people pick them.

I work as hard as I can on myself, but I'll never be perfect.