My Hallucinations

These are some the hallucinations I've had in no particular order, never all at once. I usually get a sentence, but this is how I can tell the difference between them and the planted stuff. The psychotronic people asked me once if I could tell the difference and ran a test on me, and I can.

"We will blur your senses." That was the angels or Trey.

"You're going to get scott," said the little girl ghost. She said some other things that I couldn't understand.

A bunch of stuff with mysterious gods.

"I found the vessel."

"It's Saddam."

"I found the body."

"How did she survive?"

There was a bunch of whispers and shadows, but I can't tell the whispers from my low potassium hallucinations. I have a hard time maintaining potassium. I read that you have to eat magnesium too. Oops. I wish they would have told me that.

I usually get a sentence, and I was more of a seer.

I Don't Care if I Get Expelled for My Character

Go tattle on me, please. You'll do it anyway for any reason. You're seeing my insurrection.

My brain is destroyed. I did an experiment to see how well my mind is working, and it's not working very well anymore. I spent 30 minutes learning 34 words. I waited wo weeks and could only recall 21 of them. 13 were in the mystery meat department. I didn't even recognize them.

I max out fast.

I'm going in for a battery of tests. My doctor says I'm very in the moment. My judgement is terrible but abilify helps me a little.

hehe Now RT will not let me use any vocabulary in my comments or any sort of reference. RT is my best friend :P

PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN

The world is evil, and I don't care. I don't dare. I just want my brain fixed. I think it's only fair.

I've Never Done Illegal Drugs

I was briefly a little too dependent on seroquel, so I stopped the medicine to prevent addiction.

If you want my hair to test, it's long.

As far as peoples' goal of destroying me, I don't care. Since my brain was attacked by "Satan," I'm already destroyed. I've given up hope.

My only hope is to get Putin's attention and get him to pay me in stem cells for making me a target. He did highlight me. I'm the duma girl picture.

Crappy Poem (Without Emotions It's Impossible to Relate to Write)

I hold onto this life

Only wanting strife

To better

Now only letters

As the sycophants go around

And lay their knowledge down

Love and peace and things

Of the cripples' canes

Numbers for waste

Humanity's disgrace

Singing their hymns of human

A shining shoe man

Nothing makes sense

It's only clean

One is only one

And there is a big ole sun

Their words are helpless and screech

Something buried beneath

Attenuated cattle

The cobra rattles

I want to be on fire, Benny.

They Have to Believe In Something To Stabilize

We have to retrace their steps.

These are some of the videos advertising weapons (it's obvious):

"Unconscious" Madonna

"Novacaine" Beck

"Push It" Garbage

"The Bitter End" Placebo

"Evil Angel" Breaking Benjamin

"Invalidy" Tatu

"Sleep" Lisa Gerrard

I flip around now due to these weapons. Your writing style is terrible. I'm sure I get that a lot when I don't hyperfocus. Yes, I try to go back and edit, but my computer won't let me. I try to keep it as linear as possible, but I forget now. I don't have emotional understandings any longer. I try to use them still but I get confused.

Yes, kill disabled people but kill all of them.

No One Ever Died From Wanting Too Much

, but they sure died of starvation, too little.

Let's make real morals instead of tricking us. How do we trap them?

What makes success? That's what we should focus on.

I can't be anything. I always "owe."

They Use Me To Trick You

I'm bad. I'm a burden. I'm anything, but at the end of the day, even after they edit my mind and turn me into garbage, I am you. I mean, you're next. Treat the trashy well. I would consider myself untouchable, left to my own little dream world, but they freaked about that as well. "We're going down because she's having fun." Why would I want anything if I'm only going to be jealous, Breaking Benjamin? That's how I ended up "youthless" as Beck would say. I didn't want to be bad. It's kill or be killed. They were jealous of me, of my dollar. I should have been jealous, incited, motivated. Now I'm food. I'm something easy, something they can control.

Things happen for reasons.

My Evil Mind

So, I guess that they made me pathologically jealous. I'm a bitch (all females are), so I'm not surprised, but I can't remember now. I know that I've never killed anyone, so I never would. I am Miss School Shooter though. I'm used to getting framed. I don't even try to defend myself from them anymore.

Aspen's just laughing because I look retarded and young. I hate that girl. It wasn't simple jealousy. I hate her personality. It drives me up the walls, and that's cool. She probably doesn't like me either. We should avoid one another, but evil government will force us together so that they can steal from the pariah. Aspen deserves after all, and I, I am terrorist scum.

I would never hurt Aspen, though I didn't like her in my mind. It's a long story...

Campbell better stay away from me for a long list of reasons.

I feel sick all the time. I need help, baby doll, Putin. You had your fun. Now you're done.

Breaking Benjamin, "pour some salt into the open wound" is it obvious? yes, and irrelevant. I want to go into a labor camp. Screw this.

Mind Mudding

So I wrote everything down because I was trying to avoid their tricks. I have many things posted in many places so simply erasing me from one part won't silence it, and it doesn't matter because nobody cares but our squads care about me. I figure it's a good list to start on.

It's a mean world. Aw.

As far as everything being an illusion and me giving up control to everyone that ultimately destroy me, I won't. I've done that for a long time.

I simply can't find evidence of the invisible. I'm not delusional. I'm confused.

I either, blah,blah, want attention, blah, blah, or I'm bored and creating a "cool" reality, blah, blah, or anything else cliche, blah, blah. Confuse with the irrelevant. I'm bad, I'm jealous (they were over a dollar--jealousy is a survival emotion; they have to kill me before I kill them, way of life) I'm anything. Look in the mirror. Know YOUR flaws. One sentence won't describe it, savior. If you are going to analyze, I expect an indepth analysis that covers all the aspects of my illness, my history and the possibility of it being real. The technologyi s out there.

I'm like Breivik, but I think the Russians would be best to analyze my mental illness instead of the Japanese.

My brain is destroyed. You're damn right I want my brain fixed. My eyes are popping for that one. @_@ You've had your fun and now you're done.

"Tear Away"


You've confused me
Stopped the wheel
I have to break, or I die?
Guess, what, guess, what?
I'm shattered and frayed
Confused, as one so weak
One is definitely alone, so sweet
I have to figure out the illusion
I am confused; where is my angel?
Death! Death! Death! Again?
The God of the dollar is no God of mine
The Afghan pscyhotronic weapons
Are a bitch, "we will blur your senses"
That was for the whole Putin-God-thing
Which led me to the Quran
Where are they?
I confess, I do not know good from evil
Where is the overlord
I need my brain fixed
Like this, I destroy the human condition
For we are both in a bowl.


Allah can kiss my ass
He is a machine
He's not done one thing for me
But terrorize me and disable me
So stone me -- everyone does by His design
Let Him prove he isn't a fairy
Eloi is demonic
I stick with things that can give products
I need my brain fixed