Professional Killer, KMDFM

 It's really not difficult to kill an ordinary person.  Indirectly, though we may not know it, we've all killed people and saved them as well, but that's not on-topic.  

In the song, she thinks she's cruel.  I can't feel anything but saddess.  Some predators enjoy this, thinking their prey is weak.  I like to cry because it brings up a true emotion.  

This chick says, I'll do anything you say... legions of me.  Maybe you'll learn some leadership values.  Her conscience is clear because she's never felt the feeling of blows, of choking, having your heart stopped, as you thrash and pull up, surviving years and years of being chased and made fun of, of doctors telling you there's nothing wrong and then finally seeing the brain scan and the murmur.  The murmur went away.  

Under this kind of leadership, we will just die.  I usually just smile at them, not that I've dealt with her yet.  I wouldn't be surprised. She'll watch us all get sick and start puking or hanging ourselves.  Animals can't handle not having control in at least a polite sense.  They may start masturbating to you and then having sex demons, too.  I lost control of my body when this happened to me, did some weird shit. 

We've gone through this lawless, elites know everything without even being qualified, get rid of all law B.S. over and over again.  We have laws against extreme and unusual punishments because if we do that, people will be killed in masses for simple crimes.  Also, you don't want to totally destroy a person because then they can't work or reenter society and will be hostiles and outcasts.  It's a good way to not integrate people into society.

We already have issues with work due to greed.  Also, with those songs, we won't be allowed to have anything by default.  I've been a horrible American because of this.  I must be jealous, mean, cruel as they hack people to death over dumb crimes.  I like whoever and must suffer for it while they show their ring fingers like Blackbriar and others.  Deny and hide. In America, the more people you kill for them, the worthier you are to paradise. I've also been abused to the point, it's like, go ahead and rape me, hit me with your best shot, fire away.  I don't like being injured, most of it I can get over besides that. I wonder, has anyone stuck a poisonous snake that causes hallucination up a woman's vagina and made it bite. That sounds interesting... Other forms of torture are lame to me.  I'll just have a heart attack when they make me feel hysteria and other emotions of dread.  They messed with my mood in Virginia, especially with "the fallen" they used at the same time.  

I don't even know why they bother with me.  What could I possibly do when there are true criminals, besides them, and problems in the world.  All they've managed to do is hunt me and wasted a lot of funds in the process.  I know evolution has you hooked, that you want power you won't ever be accountable for.  As in Angie's song, Basic, "There is no doubt, I'm all you think about."  

It's been an annoying life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeanByN9Sc0&t=71s

Talking to me through the medium of my grandma--look what they replied to, what a surprise... lol

 This morning I was thinking about my life and how it all started.  When I was a baby, I wasn't breathing and the doctors didn't notice it.  My father, for the first and only time, informed the doctors of this desperately following them.  There were other problems, too.  For one, I was the only child who made it to this earth over the fetuses of miscarriages.  The family has talked before, and I'm not certain, but apparently, I'm loosely related and we have common lines of both families.  Even if this isn't the case, or it's too far back, something has to be done about adoptees accidentally marrying into their own families.

Anyway, I was born 6 weeks early and weight 5 pounds.  The Grim Reaper came for me again, trying to lessen suffering in this world, and I dropped to 4 pounds.  I had my father's blood type A+ and my mom's was O+, so I had jaundice and had to be in a special bed.  My mother was sick several times during her pregnancy.  Her body also tried to attack me as a foreign body.  A doctor stuck his hand up her without a glove, and she got an infection.  That's why I was born early.  

I won't get into the genes of my condition.  I'm thinking of the medical issues that caused me to be "unworthy" of life, too, as they boldly say it.  To me, it's simply child abuse to bring a disabled child into the world or revive them when there will probably be issues.

My life has been a sick joke.

And yes, the towers did make my grandma say as she napped that they should let the child go and die if it's going to be a burden to the family and community.  I asked her about me, and she said, "no, you're smart." I'm not, but I have a soul now unlike when I was larva (newborns).  I will live my years out, but society needs to question whether or not to put so much effort into saving a baby who has a checklist of symptoms that would create too much adversity in their lives.  Like Cory Johnson, it's like, was that necessary?  We are thrown into Hell and doing simple tasks becomes difficult, not for effort or ability, but because society hates us.  Like-wise, I hate you. 

In other news, Tower People, can I move to a tropical island?  I like the Bahamas.  Thanks to your guys, I am expensive. All that money wasted tormenting me.  Of course not. Put me into more Hell for your... entertainment while Musk basks in the glory to save disabled people someday with neuro-ink.  There's no point in it is there, neuro-link?  We will have thoughts and images sent directly to our heads.  Our reality will become more interactive.  Plus, all they do, just like with me, is disable me further like a CNA to a dementia patient (mad dogs with the helpless).  

BTW, stop Musk from giving us false hope and lies about what he's truly doing.  They always use us for public support, our hope leads to more Hell and lies.  No more dropping, especially if you don't work with them and know them.  If there is not approval of it, don't say you're working on it.  It's just mean, especially since you "pacify" and disable us even more for your grandiose delusions.  I'm to blame and unworthy of anything, including my pension, but you get praise for killing all your monkey patients.  We all know what this leads to for my people:  

"Their lives are bad. We had to try something. It can't be any worse," to, "They are heavy burdens on society, and this operation/invasive procedure will be cheaper for everyone. They will be calm."

 I know you won't fix me.  I also know you could.  

Then I want away for you and the US forever.  Don't worry, I'll find a way if you don't help me leave.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyZ-saoiIzY

Fuck saving babies.  

Have these whores. Shouldn't they be pious and fully dressed?  Nothing is real here. It's like, what the Hell am I supposed to do?  I can't do what you want me to because you destroyed my life, which is fine.  I don't mind a simple life of insignificant, and now you've damaged me past the part of work, as Britney Spears demands in "Work Bitch."  I know the operations are fake, cheap lobotomies surrounded by nonsensical math to make it look smart and pronounce its virtue.  Do you realize I have brain damage, schizophrenia, and a learning disability?  They should have known it would be different on me.  Not only, but Ultra-dumb (numb) took a year to recover from.  They'll never give up. I can't fantasize that much, but I'm getting to the point I want to hang them on streetlights for everyone to see. However, the humans will simply become extremists if I do that.   Anyway, what kind of doctors are doing these?  I guess they went to an internet college.  Now I'm playing the victim.  I am the victim.  I know that the US loves these darlings.  And you can't get rid of them.  They come back over and over again.  Let me leave, Tower/CIA.

Here's a simple example of reality and not be a 12 at Disney World.  They were bad in Thailand.  My dad looked about my age then, as he has a young face. Well, not anymore, but they kept trying to separate us and weren't shy about it. They thought we were a pair.  I stay to myself. Let the people involved deal with it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRFxPUGzybg  

I've Already Said That I Was Messed Up From that Interaction

 The event with Putin messed with me, but I have a weak mind and was especially vulnerable for a couple of years.  I guessed for a while in confusion.  I figure he didn't want to mess up what was going on with the music and elite games. He is also a busy man and can't report to me either!  He has acknowledged me a few times.  That's all I ask.  I want to say, "Thank you for acknowledging me after I contacted you for something I perceive or think you did." I was in love with him, too, back when I could feel that. I'm sure he has to deal with the other crazies and has a special filing cabinet for us.  Obama had one jump the fence.  We're magical. People in power get plenty of us.  Putin is actually skilled at dealing with this problem where our leaders allow ordinary people to say they want to kill the President because he's a demon, and it becomes some unholy crusade, especially for people like Marilyn Manson.   It's like, this person is sick.  The people in Virginia also knew I was sick.  Some turned against me, but I had a few father-types who were about ready to drag me out of the bar.  No, I wasn't drinking, just my one beer a night.  They told their children not to stare at me. Meanwhile, and this is not crazy town, but the psychotronic weapons were used against me for being "evil."  Most of it was caused by the people hunting me.  The only way I can describe that is, "Prison Sex" by Tool.  We're going back to the caves thanks to Washington B.C.

And yes, real stuff happens to me.  

As far as sending me thousands of trolls, bring it on!  

Nosy Nose

I had a good day, rare as those are.  

When I arrived at the table with my best friend, Liz, I told her the gossip.  I’d had the most unusual event happen to me the day prior.  I couldn’t wait to share. We talked small at first, growing into bigger topics.

“So you’re telling me this guy had several doubles that you like?” Liz said.  “That doesn’t sound like a guy you want to mess with, not even with your oblivious senses.”

“He’s not a spy,” I said.

“How would you know? What is he? They pretend to be so many people.  Just because

you saw some show with him on it.”   

“No, I wouldn’t get involved with a spy. They make terrible husbands anyway, always gone, in constant danger, worried late nights with a tissue box, the fear of the kids overhearing the wrong words and being shot.  I have arrived at a conundrum, however,” I said.  

“And what cockeyed dimple from a smiling fool has brought you to this ‘conundrum”’ Liz asked. She smoothed out her long blonde hair that went almost to her waist, at least a three-hundred dollar wig.  Her petite nose brought more attention to her emerald eyes and pinched pink cheeks.

“Let’s say the double asks you on a date, but you want the original, or perhaps the unoriginal man, or whoever, the love at first sight.” 

“And why would you want the original?” Liz asked. She giggled and moist drops accented her purple lips, always a character.  I guessed she found my problem comical.

“Maybe I read his book somewhere, or maybe I like what he majored in, or maybe…”

“You’re a gold-digging whore who wants to make it big, escape your class? You wouldn’t be the first on the cherry-picking ladder.”

“Hey, now, Liz, you’re with a lawyer at the moment,” I reminded her in a sour tone. 

“Ladies gotta lie,” Liz said, “Anything you say can be held against you in a court o fo law–

Women judge their gossip.”  

I rolled my eyes.

“That isn’t the reason I want the original,” I said, “Or the unoriginal or whatever.  He looks

so badass in that all-black hoodie outfit on the cover of the magazine.  I like his smile, too, like mocking me and eating me.  There’s only one major feature that changes, his nose.  Sometimes his nose is small. Sometimes, it is large.  Sometimes, it changes shape.  I’ve narrowed the two I want down to the nose.  One is a big crescent moon, and the other is small and shapely with those eyes piercing into your soul, taking it into his mind.”

“The eyes aren’t the nose or the smile,” Liz told me.

“One looks soft and gentle, and the other one looks tough and fierce,” I said.

“Who has the bigger bank account?” 

“LIZ MARLEWORTH!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she pleaded and then sighed.  

There was a moment of silence.  

“So which one did you pick?” 

“The richest one so that I can torment you!,” I roared.

Suddenly, I heard a noise behind me. We’d been talking too loudly.  A man came and looked at me with those black eyes.  I kept my mouth shut and tried to calm my heart down.

“Well, ladies, are you missing something?”

What was he doing here?

“I wanted to give this back to you.”  The man handed me my passport, smiled, and then took an attractive, tall redhead who was laughing, and they walked away.

Too bad I couldn’t leave the moment on a plane to "Paper Bag Town."

The New, Old Gods

Well, I have some strange formatting issues, not that it matters.  I talk to myself.

 

Anyway, I was thinking about the new gods and now they are like the old gods but worse.  An old god would have let me talk to the statues and bum dollars.  They know they screwed me over. It happens.  You can't save everyone, but you can at least let them live their lives with some dignity.  I'd write strange things. My grandma liked them.

 I might have ended up in charity housing.  

They won't let us do anything without their magic touch, their names.  Now I can't enjoy anything, am totally alone, which Breaking Benjamin loves, but I've always been that way.  I just used to have friends in my head and wrote.  I was fine in the psych ward, too.  They don't want to save me. They want to look at how beautiful they are in a mirror.  They essentially made me loyal to Putin by having him dominate and used him image and words to fuck me, and then they blamed me and laughed while making me commit even more felonies.  Being a hypersexual pedophile was nice, too.  

Thanks new gods.  I don't cry out to you.

The psychotronic people told me I would never succeed.  Boy, is that extreme, but yeah, many people have told me that and made it impossible for me to have a simple life while yelling at me to do this or that.  They wanted me to say I had a developmental disorder. The doctors ignored me. They told me I wasn't getting a guardian. The doctors ignored me.  They lied a bunch.  

The foolish gods and their show of jesters.

The new gods see the old gods as evil because they hunger for power, but they are powerless against the nature of life and the cycles therein.  They don't know what they're doing, just that they're important.  Soon they will be echoing in caves. 

The world will turn to sand as they waste time in the hourglass.  

I hope Putin will show me mercy and help me get to Russia.

I love Durov.  I just got flung at him, tis the American way.  At first, I attacked him because that is my programming, but then I was like, what a strong, brave, and talented person.  Plus, he's hot stuff :P  The Ronaldo chick wasn't retardified.  Welcome to America!  Justice and liberty for all!  I fucked them up a bit.

He doesn't need a pet. :P  I'm not making him feel sorry for me.  They do things by "intention" here because we can't commit enough crimes and run out of secrets. He wouldn't care. My side will blast that in my ears.  I'm sure he reads my blog. My guess is that he'd shoot me for being useless, not play cat and mouse.  The way we die is horrible.  Why can't they make up their lies and shoot us by firing squad?  He wouldn't because he knows reality, like 800 million people in Indian slums, starving African children, and the low caste women, the poverty of the Russians.  I don't think I'm special.  He's trying to make the world more equal and a better place while all they want is power and glory.  

Back to hottie, I don't exactly know if it was him or not. The computer makes strange things happen.  I like him more than me regardless. :P