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This is what I've lived with:



VS



I'm working on fixing myself, but my memory is horrible, and I sometimes get disoriented due to psychotronic stuff. They've got the system rigged to where you can't say that. Clever. Never.

This proves I'm not retarded:



I have to do this to prove it, and I had to take an IQ test, which I was concerned about because I can't think. I'm blank.

No, I don't have a trick book. I sit there and do them myself to practice cognitive stuff. Now prior to Madonna and them, I never used to talk like that. The records have never shown me having a speech disorder, but I kind of have one now. You'll hear it ever so often. It's because I don't have emotions to focus my speech with. My voice sounds pressured because I have to really put effort into speaking coherently.

LOL Had him on my back as well. Bring it on peps. I know I'm claiming a lot, but a lot happened. I went into a coma. Next time, make sure I'm dead. That headache lasted eight months. I appear to be the distraction.

Don't you like this



Until it's you.

I think I belonged in prison. I like the law. It makes sense.


Inside, I'm someone nobody wants to fuck with; do you understand?"
This is me or was me. I still laugh constantly, but I can't feel it.

I go on and on. Can't understand how I last so long... Been wide awake for the last three days. Don't stop, just keep rolling downhill."

I'm not going to play your games. Things happen for reasons, and even that girl up there is a human because I want to be a human.

If you want to blame someone, blame these people.



Let me tell you what the independent hospitals do--now the VA really doesn't do this, but they inject you with drugs then declare you delusional. Haldol makes me lose my memory and I will start saying strange things on it. I have no memory while I'm on it, and I pose a threat to myself and other people while on it. I told the St. Louis hospital I was going to sue them if they injected me, but they just lied and it's my word vs theirs. My word is meaningless...