If you want to know, I'm doing much better now, but this technology is real. I'm not joking or playing games.
The main problem that I have is my memory, which the IQ test revealed as well or the other cognitive tests did, which I will post later. Give me attention :P I'm currently in a rehab program that's supposed to help me become independent again. I will try to work at the VA as a janitor. I'm in two classes right now, but I'm not doing so well in one of them due to my memory and am going to go to disability services. After this, I'm done with school because I don't appear to be capable. I'm not going to cheat my way through. And Drury, your online program is too easy. You can use your notes and stuff on exams. LOL Now I need that now, but you can't honestly let normal people go through like that. It's cheating. You're eventually going to get in trouble. I'm going to tattle on you.
When I was little, I had a LD in basic reading. Coding. I was cleared of this disability in 2003. I went to college a little then joined the army. I did fairly well the first time I went to school. I got a 111 on the ASVAB and a 76. IF anyone knows what that means.
I am diagnosed with PTSD, ADHD and NOS Psychosis that they go back and forth between schizoaffective and schizophrenia. Some doctors believe me when I say I'm not actually angry when I start screaming. It's just due to a lack of emotion and I freak, though that's a contradiction. It's different to me. Things are different than they used to be. Others do not believe me about not being angry. Since I wrote a 60,000 book in 3 days, they say I suffer from manias, but I don't. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could still do it. I'm going to self-publish it for free. It's crappy. Oh, they say I have PTSD because I don't sleep through the night and have nightmares. I don't believe that diagnosis is accurate. I'm around people with PTSD, and I'm not like them. They're currently investigating whether or not I might have suffered a head injury. No really. Thanks, Madonna. Now I will say that my "lobotomy" has made it so that I don't say off-the-wall stuff anymore, but my ability to put things together is damaged. Like, on the IQ test, I really struggled with how "always" and "never" are related and things like that. Now remember that the parts needed to do the IQ test do not include the whole brain. A big part of me has died. I don't have a myopic view any longer. I'm very here-now as the doctor says. I only scream when I completely lose the ability to do anything else. I'm in distress, even though I can't "feel" that or anything.
I'm complicated, they say.
IQ-wise, I've always scored around 115-120 with one higher score when I was little. The little kid IQ test is a joke though.
Here's the kind of stuff I wrote when I had emotions:
"I am abusive but it all comes back to me because I think, though I do go through something like a tantrum. I never grew out of it. I'm horrible at arguing. I would rather roll around in the dirt. It's an emotion. If people understood, they would understand. Am I really angry enough to react? Otherwise, it should stay within me instead of be manipulated in some riddled form of perception.
Bite the slaves, right?
It's wrong because it makes them upset then they don't hold so many tasks as well. They die-destroy. They have everything for nothing, said the justification, but they have to hold "everything."
You suffer from things like PTSD. We suffer from things of psychosis. I'm not big enough to pose a threat to 60 percent of the population. I'm firmly believe that people should assess risks instead of manipulate others to various ends.
I got mad and decided to show myself as a complete reaction. I was sick of people selecting hues, mostly reactive. Life is a paradox of meaningless philosophy. I only have so many options."
Back when I was delusional, I was poetic. I got the idea that going bankrupt would be a form of protest against the 1%, and I did that way before OWS. I used to suffer from extreme rage, and I was like, they're going to make me bail all these people out ("Let's Have a War" A Perfect Circle), and i was right, so I decided to do whatever I wanted and mock them. It's in my other blog. I also thought I had magical powers pre-Madonna from the spine-water, but I was happier then. Long story short, a lobotomy will cure delusions, as it makes your mind extremely blank, but it'll leave its victims idiots. I can't adapt to things.
The US pissed me off. I wanted to leave, but they targeted me before I could leave.
It's not nice to steal gold coins from a leprechaun." ~ Leprechaun
They have "control," and that's all they know.
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