Having Eyes for Putin, the Officer

Okay, so if you don't know, I was once upon a time in the military.  I've touched on this topic a few times in other blogs.

Got fired.

I understand that I liked Putin and that it was wrong, but I went into denial mode and wasn't trying anything crazy.  First, I attacked him, telling him to get out of our media. Then I thought he was my father.  It's like being a brother or sister relationship-wise.  The guys in the army did that to me.  It works.

I became confused.

  Breaking Benjamin ripped through all of my defenses that I'd used to protect myself.  We are a mixture of the truth and delusions.  Overall, humans are delusional.  And the truth is complex and mixed in with delusions that are as real as the truth.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Another thing is that people use the dominant male-thing against me as a trick.  They put me up against them and then say, "You are not good enough," or, in the army, you are "eyeballing" them.  I knew a lot of females who developed crushes on the drill sergeants. We talked about it at night.  That's what the screaming drill sergeants are for.  They nip that in the butt. 

Yet they made me ubber special with Putin.

I had this one sergeant who liked me.  It was annoying.  He's still alive.  Then I had several males try to get me to sleep with them, even though they were married.  They're still alive. Little bastards.  When I went to go get my article 15, there were people who'd fraternized.  They could have gotten me for that, even though, once again, I was delusional and had defense mechanisms.  Also, Betrayus is alive.  Should we use the truth machines on him?

If they wanted to play stupid truth games, even though I said nothing.

I tried to confess to my crimes, even though I was delusional.  What do I get?  The picture, the firing squad and all the special attention.  I still want to be circumcised.

Being good, trying to do the right thing, is often rewarded with agony.