A few more things...
My whole life I've been the bad example. For years, I had low self-esteem and believed that I was bad. I was Miss Bad Example. The amount of trash I manage to drag is amazing. You are what you eat. I have become the trash can from all this treatment. Do you see the vicious cycle? The more you inspire bad qualities in me, the more they come out. While you've used your weapons to stop a school shooting that would have never occured because I'm naturally pretty mellow as a burnt out schizophrenic, you left me to the wolves, and my evil nature will just show again because people use me to be good. @:) I want my strong mind back. I will do nothing for you after what you said about me, which was ridiculous. i'm not conforming to imperial weakness. Inbreed yourselves on an island or something. Glass humans. I'm in the death empire. No matter what you do, they destroy you so that they can rule. It's like kingdom of idiots. Not really, but I want to be mean. Ordinary people are cool. Elites are bullshit. We've tricked them and have decent lives with morals as they flip around us and do their evil ways. I guess we assume it's our fault somehow.
I wanna annoy you, and the only thing I can think to do is use words because I don't want to hurt anyone. Nobody listens to me, no harm done. I'm just rambling to air.
"Stop sheltering the doomed flower." -- Forms of Imprisonment Universal Hall Pass.
"Whoop That Trick" -- Diay LOL
This bad came in many forms. Most of my teachers said that I was attention seeking (any cliche can be applied for group control-- a known of all) if I asked a question or told the entire class that I couldn't read, which I could until Madonna, and I'm relearning. I have proof. I have to prove everything because these people are part of the communist dictatorship. They believe their own delusions. It's amazing.
This is why I have little respect for people. They treat you like dirt then expect great behavior from you. I like slandering :P I dont' have anything to sue for and i have no future.
Putin is also on my super special list because he caused all his little friends to come at me at once too. I had things that made me crawl everywhere and other curious things in addition to common gangs. Of course, we all know I'm a liar. I have many moral faults to uncover.
I'm a loser for a reason. LOL As if I could rise above.
All and all, I want an apology letter from the public education system for not handling my case in a way that would benefit me and only go after that 25 dollars, labeling me at risk for shooting them by hinting towards it by several members of staff (do you wonder why)--you want us to be in the same schools which is morally wrong but you can have that dollar, and I want one from Putin from the bottom of his heart. I can be inappropriate as well. I'm not afraid of you. I don't respect you at all. I need my brain fixed after you highlighted all my demons and people felt all guilty and wanted to charity me. How dare him. He knows he has influence and that that comment was a death sentence to me. What did I ever do to him? Did he even know me? We should go out ot lunch. I'm eyeballing his empire :P DON"T EVER DO THAT AGAIN, PUTIN. If you want to shoot someone, shut your mouth and shoot them. You're suck a manipulator. What did you do really? Sit in an office. I'm not playing the spook game. I'm supposed to be afraid then conform with whatever bullshit they give me. Honestly, threats just make me angry. I've gotten a lot this lifetime because people want me to do stupid things. death no longer motivates me. I expect a letter from him. He's sorry. I need compensation. They said I don't get it, but I get it. You wronged me and caused a lot of harm to come my way so pay by fixing me.
Maybe I wouldn't have demons if people didn't feel the need to call them out 24/7.
It's a lesson, you get what you give. Worried about demons, be nicer to that person. I don't have them. I'm an invalid. I have childlike delusions of fairyland and temper tantrums. I'm a big person, I'll admit it. I want to do what they all do: break things. I like to rip things apart, like a parrot. It makes me happy. We all know that you just did it because you're a business man. We aren't worth anything. This I too realize. I'm a business woman. I'd like to be fixed.
Muse -- City of Delusions
Stay away from me
Build a fortress
and shield your beliefs
Touch the divine
As we fall inline
Do not deny that
you live and let die
Destroy these
*any reference to celebrities is not part of my "illness" but they have weapons. Pay attention.
I would say they are definitely possessed by demons: greed and control.
Putin is like the dark lord of demons. When he posted that picture, I was likeI'm not doing shit until they just hand over a house, a car and at least a million. I'll sit on my ass or walk out on the street. They took my chance to be normal. I'd like to take something of yours now.
Now they're all going to come and attack me again to prove themselves. That's why I was a TI. I was easy to get to.
And don't believe in free speech like I did. Everyone else can run their arrogant mouths, but if I say something, it's the end of the world. It's all over a dollar. I get a pension, and they're "jealous." Not as jealous as I am now.
I Want it All
Is this all there is
Calibrating reasons
of my fear and lies?
I deceive myself
Another cliche leads
I'm trapped in the message:
I want to conform to live
Under control
Is this all there is
I seem to justify my will
I am not, so you are
I will not deny sin
I am nothing but dust
forbidden of the garden
My eyes bulge like apples
To taste bold temptation
"Demons" Tech9
I will do nothing for you. :P
Look at how weak and pathetic I am now that I'm alone without any cash. It's terrible. When you're poor, they steal all your stuff and won't even write you a letter. They make you do things that are blantantly against your interests, and they wonder why you're useless. Jesus Christ. Leave me alone! Now I'm in your face.
Imperial Watch@
Ignore and cover
We know it all
If we know this
We don't have to
We don't worry
About little things
Such frailty lies
Faulty lines of
Justification's will.
You be trashy (I am not justifying my condition thinking that I deserve shit because I've been transformed) and make babies with your own damn money. I write crappy poetry about this. It's just so that I can get my fragmented thoughts out, thanks Madonna. Miss Shantelle J. Campbell told me my place but until the government gives me paid leave and doesnt' threaten me with death every five minutes, they can fuck me fucking. I don't even have sex. I'm stuck in a caste where my partner isn't worth anything because i'm not worth anything, which I am everso reminded. Rub something in my face again. All I care about is money and power/ rank in society, which I won't get now until I'm repaired. I'm a career woman. I spent my growing up years trapped taking care of other people, and it screwed me over when I entered the real world. Some of us don't want to have families. It should be respected. I want money. Babies don't get me money. They make me poor and we all know what happens when I'm poor. Bitch teachers consume me and Putin shoots me because I'm not worth anything. I already learned my lesson. Now I'm stuck being worthless and poor. I'm not standing for this. I want it to be fixed.
I'll make you grovel at my feet, Blaine. You'll be like, why? and I'll say because that's what they wanted from me. They wouldn't listen to good me. I won't accept this because that's what got me this. Poor people suck. We should kill them all so that we don't have to deal with these issues. They can do anything they want to us and say that unless we have evidence... so they're sneaky. I need a gang. LOL Creating social problems in the lower spheres is our only control. I need protection. We've got Placebo targeting "Special Needs" and everything else. Time to make them our targets. Guns are the only way you're respected. I don't care that I'm out of your district now. I was in it. Write the fucking letter, bitch. I'm angry this happened, and you will shut us all up to prevent it from happening again. No way would I have stated my opinion if I thought there would be those kind'of consequences. Why don't we all know? All I wanted was to go to school and be a truck driver. Now that isn't going to happen, now is it? All these stereotypes screwed me over. Rose, special needs, schizophrenia. And on the latter's note, tell them that there are weapons that they've used on me. This schizophrenia-thing is stupid and ridiculous. I'm mentally retarded these days or when you're an adult they call it dementia. Again, I have evidence of all my abilities. ASVAB 111. IQ 118. It's not stellar, but it's better tha nthis.
The contents are on the blog in case you threw it away. Scribble. You too, Vladi/ We can make me trashy. No redeeming qualities. How demoralized can you make a girl? Those gangs did a damn good job and took their sweet time. Play with prey. I have no hope with my mind like this. You're going to fix it. You're going to let me in your elusive club tshirt so that I can eat all your food and break all of your stuff and enjoy me jumping around your country for a few weeks while you patch up my brain. I'm not going to be Miss Zombie on top of everything else. I was not of your concern, not your business. I only said you could have my liver because you wanted to be immortal and that's how you do it. The other guy explained. It's easy except for the brain. That has to be maintenanced. LOL Not that you care, but you're the one that read my blog for some god unknown reason. I'm a weird person, and i used to be really weird. I was seriously offering my liver to you at the time, not calling you a drunk. My original delusions were guiding me then. It's taken me a long time to come into reality, but stuff really did happen to me. i know the difference between a delusion and a reality simply by stating that. The doctor said so. It's not like you didn't know that I was ravingly delusional at the time. Did you see my eyes? The way they used to focus. Extreme pain snapped me out of it. I'm not delusional now because I can tell you that a fairy is a fairy and a dog a dog. The doctor has been through this with me.
My side not standing up for me just shows how worthless they are. I can't believe more people aren't like, "where the fuck did my mind go?" Oh Hell no! I guess they still hope for their future, so they don't want to be "schizophrenic." They have a bunch of crazies mixed in with us in addition to the fact that they're invisible, so we can't pin then down. Innocent until proven guilty, but something obviously happened. Why are we guilty to deserve psychotronic warfare without trials? Yes, I'm a traitor, but only afterwards because I wanted to earn something, impossible to do. Wait, i'm no traitor, I'm a world citizen. I was sick of imperial America having an advantage. LOL We can play that game. I hate this place. You can't earn anything. It's impossible. They spy on you if you start to think @ "Girl" Beck. By being unproductive, I get them back. It's like, isn't a good idea that she thinks for herself with her own interests in mind?
Everyone else does.
The only way to censor real vs unreal targets is to have records of abilities with obvious declines in functions in people with targeted personalities. Bush is a piece of shit. Have your trashy society. Being a TI sucks. Basically, they're selecting undesirables for experimentation both in social mannerisms and to test their weapons. I had fallen angels talking to me. I don't hear those sorts of things. "Let us send the fallen after her" and "turn around and face the face I created." They tried to kill me in my sleep over 1200 dollars. Miss Rose has been VIOLATED several times. She can tell when she's been manipulated because she'll walk into a trap to be smacked across the face again and then her thoughts will be wrong to them again. What do you hope to accomplish with mind control? Why don't you make other people treat me like a dog at least. Now this is a guess I make because I can hear them changing my backthoughts, but it could be a delusion because my emotions are really messed up. I have no emotions today. The school-thing was not a delusion, but they'll say it was; I have evidence against them, and I could sue them because it turned out that I didn't even quality for a disability when they had me among other things. My dad is not a delusion, but he'll say it is. Why did I end up not getting any resources? Would I have ever chosen this? No. That's how you know it's reality, especially if there's money talking. Why would I do something blatantly against my interests. Akrasia--and I seem to want to do a lot of that when there is gun-control around leading to increasingly DESPERATE acts on my end that get me things like guardianship by people who are after my dollar. Being schizophrenic, I have to use extreme logic. The biggest problem that I have is that everyone else is still running around in foresight land, something that I'm lacking ironically. Most people believe in crazy things, and they will cling to their beliefs like nothing else. I could say that the sky is blue, and they would tell me their life story to validate why it's neon green. They will also attack me because it has to be green, and it's my fault that I think it's blue, deeply stemming from childhood trauma.
My life has been like open season. I give up. I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want a good job, a good car and a good house and to be single forever because I don't want to be a Disney Princess. We've already dissected my thought process when it comes to dating.
At least 44 child bodies cry in the future. I can hear them. Prove that that means something...
We can play that game.
I'm really insecure due to these conditions. I'm officially evil, but only because of the pension that they tried to kill me for. Don't worry, I'm mostly running my mouth. I'm trash anyway. My future is like at McDonalds if that. I'll probably end up in prison labor without going to prison. In life, you'll find you'll lick the dirt off someone's shoes if it means your survival. That's how i end up so trashy. People always know I'm desperate and "have to" do whatever. Accept anything. Gotta love being human. We're a worthless species. I feel pretty uplifted despite my condition due to my new and restored health. You people have no idea how terrible my state was. Thank God. The body is amazing. I hope it doesn't regress and that I keep having clarity progress.
I must have one drop of angel blood. Maybe while they're were torturing me, they gave me one. Humans are just pathetic.
I want labor camps to open up. I want to torture humans like Kim Jong. I'd be in there because I'm disabled but at least I wouldn't have to worry about my mind. I'd just stare at the sky. :) No more open season. I don't hate former president Bush. I was just irritated that he killed me. It's always because I'm of the middle class and deserve shit because i didn't succeed or didn't have it rough enough like whoever nobody cares about anyway but Hollywood sells. Well, we had bad years during my upbringing. Not that I care, but it made it difficult initially, and I'll be damned if I'm a rose. You can have a "broken heart" have all your stuff stolen from you and not get the super satisfaction of being special. I'm jealous. I'm not going to deny being human. If I don't get the rope, then I'm not doing anything extraordinary, and you won't break my heart because I don't have one. I thought we were equal... so many contradictions. This is why I hate equality. Freedom = free range. You're free, but I'm not... see? I went all Benedict Arnold because I ended up with Stockholm syndrome, and I'm sick of being forced into life roles plus fighting for my life as they rush me ot the meds got old real fast. Some of us don't want families, and we're not in neat little boxes like roses and ribbons. If I have to end our empire to make that point, then I will. I'm about to go blab some more over youtube. I'm sure he already knows what I know, but I like being a traitor. I feel powerful. You wanted me to be bad so badly. Fine. And I'm the only traitor in history to not be given a trial. What, did you feel guilty about all the psychotronic stuff that you did to me prior? I'm just spoiled... fine. Now you can take all my stuff. That's another game. My dad won't help me and he makes so much that I didn't qualify for loans and such. If really need something like school or stem cells, he isn't there at all. He'll justify it as a fault of mine and throw a fit then flip the argument because he knows he has control. I asked him for 650 for a class, and he made it look like I was throwing a fit over it so that he could discipline me--some of you like that :P I'm sadistic. Cheap. He'll abandon me anyway. They all will like always. I told you I'm punishment now, karma. Why am I so useless? "We'll get your kids." -- Koran I figured the army school-thing was too good to be true. They came and tried to kill me for my pension then messed my mind up. Don't ever take anything from the army thinking that you'll actually get it. Steal and be stolen from. The better it sounds, the worse your life will be. The 9/11 bill made me cringe. I was already in when they changed it. The prior one was little enough that I didn't think there would be a catch, but the other one, I was like, there's no way they could ever give that. "Evil Angel" Breaking Benjamin, "Why can't I breathe evil angel?" Because there's cyanide in the room.
Putin told me to look in the mirror. I'm not taking responsibility. I had no control, and I told them everything that was going to happen. I told them to take the pension back. And I told them I needed a trade in school due to personal reasons so that I didn't have to deal with my "homies" in the real world. What real world Putin really said was, "you're garbage, number 53, and you have enough cash to steal, and I have a big fucking gun." You learn to hear what they're actually saying, those of the control-gun. Freedom poses a huge problems with funds because we all move in ways that waste. I'm not worth the 9/11 bill, so you have to come and destroy me so that I don't take it but then I'm all out of place because I can't find employment because I was raised to be school-determined, and I've fallen out of my caste (I use this term loosely) which creates a social problem, not that I mind it. Nobody wants to date me because I'm not worth anything, can't support myself, and i end up in the gutter where I "belong." They'll make me sin so that I deserve that. North Korea has great wisdom by just declaring everything for EVERYONE. Go Kim Jong. Keep civilization humane. Do you have to spend millions targeting your roses to break their hearts? No, you tell them they're comfort brides or to the labor camp. If I was forced, then I would only have one master and my life would make sense, but I can't do something due to all the people involved with their own interests. Death to freedom. Don't stop believing, Bush. How come we get the stupid leaders that try to deceive with dog tricks? I only disagree with Kim Jong on one thing and that's that we should always mourn the dead. Isn't it sad that they chose this end? No ice cream. You'll have to excuse me a little, sir. They targeted my frontal lobe (hence waka waka demon) with their weapons, so sometimes I'm a little bit of an idiot, but I'm working on impulse control. I don't mean to waste or be foolish, but I am foolish with my disney mentality :P I joke to myself about that. I get distracted. I didn't realize that "Satan sex" had done that to me for awhile. I like what you did to the people that tried to use their weapons on you. Brain dead people have excellent behavior. They're very quiet, reserved, beautiful people that don't ask for a thing!
I've become a witch these days. I spit off everything in my afterlife. I'm a ghost, a rose, something low. Does it matter? No. The less I do the more I hurt you. Get out of my brain. "She'll never do anything for you" after all.
Back to being the antihero,
As for my issues growing up, yeah, I've got my little fiddle out. It just taught me reality--nobody else likes, which was when they wanted me to be miss rose, I laughed in their face. That's really what it was. Now my family pays all my bills 'cause I'm a scumbag. I even have a music player, bitches. I'm like karma to society. I was left behind. And you'll say that I'll kill myself from my lack of opportunities later, but you were already planning on breaking my little heart, weren't you?
I lose no matter what. So it's all pointless. I'm the philosophical janitor.
If they weren't in my mind, I wouldn't have ever written this, but we wanted to play open seasons for my dollar because I deserve Hell. Scribble, scribble, scribble.
I only wanted a career and to go to school after that was my path, but it would have benefitted me to have had employment in a trade younger.
I TOLD THEM SO!
I want them to stop messing with my mind. They're trying to change my outlook. Look, I'm a bitch, and there's a reason. I'll do what you did to me :) :( :/ ;) :P That's what you did to me. What makes people schizophrenic? Look at their histories. Being schizophrenic, I don't really have emotions (sometimes "they" try to give me one) and my thinking is more stuck in a rut, so it's interesting when they try to manipulate me. The doctor said that I'd be like that for the rest of my life. That just means that I've been schizophrenic for awhile, but I was also targeted. LOL Isn't it funny? That damn dollar.
I hate Campbell. She was not "always nice" to me. What happened was that her boyfriend fucked her in the dark and then asked me on a date, and she freaked, pushing me in formation and a bunch of other things. I didn't care about her prior to that, but she wanted to kill me, so I got aggressive towards her. She just happened to have the gun. She's in military intelligence somehow, even though she's a journalist. She's a brat and nobody liked her. Nobody liked me either because I"m antisocial (because I have a label that makes me a beckon for being used by others, like Putin; look at how he came at me). It's because she's manipulative and uses cliches, but that's what happens when you abuse people, we develop third eyes. She has one. I'm not knocking her for her wisdom. I'm just saying that we all have demons, and like the Bible says, they're useful. For doing that rose-thing to me, I'll blow your cover to save the next fool, making your game harder. You can see into all of our minds, yet you make me Miss Antihero. I'm like the epitome of evil to these people. You must be joking. I like it though because it makes me wiser when they aren't fucking that up. That's why I like planet of agony. I want my old self back @:) "Earthquake" Little boots, "every little earthquake every little heartbreak going unheard, I won't say a word," but I'm thinking bad thoughts, and I'm annoyingly unproductive in matters of stupidity, rose agendas. Those tamas just hate doing anything. They're the ones with the machines at the moment. Suttvas don't have a problem with us rajas. And as far as demons go, I guess I have them, but I think the person with the most is the most successful. Look at that bank billionaire. You go, man! Look at how those stupid sheep just threw their money at you, and you'll get away with it becuase now you're worth something while they aren't shit. They have to be "wise" when you have a gun pointed in their face. That's why I call the fight "demon souls." Aw, it's so cute T3 when they're begging for their lives. They'll do anything.
I want revenge. Since I can't have success, I guess I'll have to
Justify my reasons
-- muse
I'm just quoting a song and worshipping Kali.
Oh, I love my dad, but he does that with money. Fight, fight, fight. Make me happy :) They all do, so don't go thinking he's Satan. Look in the mirror. You know you hate me for getting a pension. i'm just like them all, white trash, never worked, worthless garbage. When this isn't true at all. Well, I am worthless garbage, but I've worked a lot for my years. Not like that matters to those of the gun.
On that note, I don't feel sorry for myself; I feel sorry for everybody else. @:) They have to deal with the demon they created. I'm a mirror: look in it.
I'd get over it if I wasn't sunk in it, oh shit, sweet shit, how you smell.
I feel better at least. I guess those stem cells kicked in or God did 'cause i know Putin flaunted that he didn't care after all I did for him. What a false sense of entitlement he has. I wrote, "I'd rather be homeless or dead than take the pension." Nowhere did I say, "Putin." Yet he came running. I wasn't talking to him, and I wish he wouldn't have gotten involved to send the terror squads after me. Why do you think I said that? because i listen to music. I know they're after me. "Evil Angel" breaking benjamin. "Special Needs" Placebo. "Girl" Beck. I have a lot of different agencies targeting me at once. The last thing I needed was cash. Since Elvis (article found in smithsonian), they've been secret agents covering social agendas.
To all you Iraqi vets, not that you'd read my blog, but the procedure was only 10,000 which is cheap for cells, and they got rid of those horrible headaches (or the headache that lasted for 8 months after I was attacked) I was having and restored some function somehow. You can see improvements on my blog. I'm not sure if that's time, but the headaches definitely went away after the treatment. I'm still hollow. The only drawback is that I have scars forever on my tummy. You really have to suck the cells up to get the benefit too, don't let them wash down your throat. Sometimes, it takes more than one trip. The eye guy said that. He had immediate improvements in vision after a few days, I guess. They should go spy on her and take her technique because it seems to work, even though it's strange and doesn't differentiate them like other countries do, but she puts them right in the area. It's a little scary for us brain people, but it was worth it. I'd still like some more and nerve growth. The only side effect I've had are olefactory hallucinations, and I'm sure what those are from. The rest is probably from the injury or from invega, which caused me to have sense issues. I thought my brain was filled with water. It was weird.
I will delete this blog. I just wanted to explain, though I know nobody cares. I listened to my badass music, so I cussed. i don't cuss in person. Like I said, I'm shy, reserved. "It's always the quiet ones," not. Stop that. This torment of me reached a level. Let me explain, Madonna, to preverse myself. I can think clearly now; something I haven't been able to do for months during my punishment. I'm always being punished for something. It's how they justify my low life form. Why not just say that I specialize in hamburger making and that you couldn't handle doing the same things over and over again? Why not be humane? As for being a teenager and having monomania, the only reason I spent all that money was because I was on the run. Then people that wanted my dollar justified it as my incompetence without regard to the fact that I might not be all shrouded in fantasy. I wanted to live. We've been through this. I'll do anything to survive like all pathetic humans. That's mind control: the gun. I don't know why we need all this fancy stuff. I'm still @:) because I want wealth and power, and I no longer want to @) please. Come at me some more. Give me some more demons. The last thing I want is to follow Jesus on the cross. What a loser religion. And if you're uber good, you can be nailed to a cross. Humanity can save itself.
Mostly, I'm on fire because I want stuff to protect myself, and i want to be immortal. They tried to put it out and make me sweet, but I'm too fucking greedy for that. Psychotronic warfare won't stop my blazing torch. I've been incited. Thanks Putin. You made me realize that nobody will ever stand up for me, how worthless I am, and that anyone willmake me face dictators all alone. You may be hot, but you have no couth. I think you're cute, but would I have a conversation with you? No. You respect the dead, fucker. It's not funny, and it's not something to joke about my office pimp. What's the most you've ever done for anyone? Steal. That's it, but then you'll accuse me. You're the one burning like brilliant trash, "we've powered up the power slaves/ line up and do what you please/ burn like brilliant trash (eternity)."
I feel like destroying my family because i'm supposed to be honest according to them and we all have those family members, the ones we hide (I'm one of them)--the psychotronic people, but I won't because I know youu need slaves to work. I'm no slave :P HAHA I'm queen of the hobos. My country has no meat grinder; nobody has any fear. Food stamps will sustain me for life. I can do whatever i want like all the people that rose past me while I was trapped in human emotions of morals. I don't like this. Not that I care about anyone that doesn't do something for me anyway. I've become a sociopath as well. I'm sick of the simpletons. Let's make it Hell on earth.
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