Demons LOL Everyone has them because everyone got their feelings hurt at some point. Wah. They just thought I might actually accomplish something, so they destroyed me. I tried to get back at them, and I'm ... bad. I'm so special. WTF did Putin highlight me? Because it was an easy kill. He's got demons LOL You should see all the people he kills (he should be ruled insane if hurting people is the qualification), especially if he wanted to be a sociopath and not care for the injured or disabled. How does that make you feel, Putin? I'm white trash like everyone else, right? I deserve pain, agony, nothing. I want to be...
I haven't gotten much this life. I want the opportunity that I received; I would like compensation, and I've already said what I want. It would make me feel better, like I'm actually human and worth something.
My relative said that the government was trying to help me since it didn't kill me, which it could easily, and I'm not delusional about that because I know what a delusion is, but it obviously messed up because she said I had excellent comphrension after 6th grade and that my memory is bad now. She told me to keep writing to government, which I am. I want this fixed. I'm not trying to get rich by suing, and she said it would be by their grace basically, which means they're going to ignore me but agrees that they messed something up, even though they probably had good intentions or I'd be dead. I just want this fixed. Can we deal with this quietly? It's my dream to graduate college. I hate being stupid. I was already stupid, but now I'm "make her retarded." yes, I could hear it as they did it to me.
I don't necessarily agree that their interests were benign to pleasant. I think there are a lot of elites out there with satellites and that I pissed someone off, so they wanted to make me stupid to have an unpleasant life, and that's why I write open letters, and they're really just letters since i"m too stupid to really analyze things these days, and it's kind'of dangerous/ sparks more attention to me, but I would like to say that if it was an elite that that was plain rude. You could have used your words to tell me what you didn't like. You could have grabbed some hobo off the street to write it here. I never get any comments on this blog, but you're obviously welcome to put your feelings up here. Going after my mind is wrong, doesn't give me a chance to evaluate or correct things myself. I was, in fact, born yesterday. You probably have a good reason to not like the things I do or say, and I might just be ignorant of why it bothers you. I can see one error now, but I was so pissed they were trying to kill me, even though I can't feel it.
I used to be really jealous of black people because they got free school and special privilege for their suffering, and I think society makes us racist for a purpose, and I guess I was looking back when I had emotions, but it was mostly jealousy. What makes that so special? While this is childish, it's no doubt influenced my opinions that I cant feel anymore, so don't ask me how it makes me feel because I can't feel it (I generally hate people), and they were doing stuff way before I made that comment, but I realize someone would shoot me dead for it, even though blacks are targeting whites and saying nasty things too. My last group home's head was racist against white people and never kept her mouth shut, right in front of me too. That's her opinion, and I have to respect it. It wasn't going to cause me any harm, didn't harm anyone. I figure people can stop have egos made of eggshells. I use my name because I figure it's good for me, and if you threaten me, everyone dies, so it doesn't matter. I've gotten used to it over the years. If someone is going to do something bad, someone is going to do it, and there's nothing I can do about it. Just an FYI, I can't feel any emotions, so you can't make me suffer. You can find mild amusement, I assume, in all the upside down things I think, however. I am stupid now. Does that make you feel better about yourself? And for anyone else on the internet, you can be found, so don't think you're hiding your 'nasty." I'm human, not perfect.
Google is trying to defame me for it to justify what they did, and two wrongs don't make a right, especially in the dark. Meanwhile, they won't put any of my comments about Campbell up. And I hate her, not because she is black but because she betrayed me and sided with the evil ones, calling me a "rose," which is like a death sentence in this culture. That wasn't an opinion, it caused me harm. It's a "target." She was my best friend. Now I guess I'm being simple because a "friend" betrayed me. I am simple, and she needs a restraining order.
If I ever come into any money from the evil ones, which I won't, she'll get half of it for all the shit I've written, but I don't plan on having anything, so I'll say all the "immature" things I want to, and I expect google to post at least one of them. Does God love her more than me? I feel that there's discrimination going on, and yes, I could felt true discrimination all my life, and what makes it even better is that I deserve it. Then I have to listen to people complain that they've been discriminated against when they don't think I can relate. Oh, I know discrimination. It made me a massive target. They even called me a rose and a ghost. Like you can be dead while you're alive.
Back to Campbell, she put my life in extreme danger, I figured I'd return the favor. If we ever see each other again, she's going to need a restraining order, even if I've been zombified. She was racist too, but I used to think that was okay for black people. It was part of my ignorance. She often made references to slavery like it happened yesterday or to her and that I was responsible. In my head, I was like??? and then later I mounted a sea of anger because if someone has suffered discrimination, but there's always that voice in the back of my head, but you deserve it. Then why am I with people who are not my equals? Why am I always used? It's come to me arriving at the conclusion that all invalids should die. That's what all my thoughts on morals say. That as long as we exist, we will be exploited. That as long as we exist, we will be unworthy. I can't do anything without someone getting into my way, someone telling me I can't, someone telling me I don't deserve, but I deserve this.
I thought about it a long time, and even if I was delusional about everything or something in the everything, she was still in the wrong. You have to treat people like people, even when you're killing them or "cutting" them off. I guess I went to her level by defaming her, but she sure did me, several times, and maybe that's why I created the deep delusion... not that it's all a delusion, I'm just confused becaue my attackers are invisible, but what I 'pinned" down does say a lot. Who has hurt you?, that's what I discovered. I thought that they were my friends, but really I never thought that at all because they were my demons, black people too.
I just talked to a black guy and he said I was mad, not necessarily racist. I just asked him to read this. I get along with black guys. I swear that I'll end up marrying one.
Back to what she'll use to hide, and it's not because you're black but because I hate you; and even after my initial guess that was right by "interests" in me, your tracer, you left me in the dark when I needed you the most--I listened to you lament about all your problems, and you freaked out when I said I was hallucinating, probably because you felt real special with your "future," and they knew my name, and you didn't want guilt by association, but it still pissed me off because you'd used me before. Everyone dumps me because they don't want to be associated with someone with schizophrenia or mental health problems, which is respectable, but did you have to go and do that? You could have said, "I can't risk my future associating with you because I have a job now that requires a clean record;" you didn't have to do what you did. I won't post it here, but it was enough for me to go to prison for. I'd halfway forgiven you for profiling me, but I won't forgive that. Did they tell you to do that? They just want me to kill myself to make up for their ego problems. "She's such a disgrace; she's going to kill herself. " Like I have to kill myself for them to be "right," and they pressure it, and I felt like that for awhile then came to the conclusion that I needed company in the afterlife and that I was not soley exclusive from my environment. I've been carrying society's garbage for a long time, and I think that's why I got voices. It's a type of guilt that follows me around as all these horrible things happen to me. The occurences are focused on me, so it's my fault, but the reasons it happens are complex to many, claim in their irresponsibility to be vexing, yet all boil down to one cause: disability. It makes me think, should invalids exist or is their fate welfare and other horrible ends? We don't dance in the circle of society, so what's the purpose of existing? To drain resources? It wasn't like I was wanton, no, I was singled out and chosen by Satan to be "bad." That's what happens when something is inferior, like a snake that crawls on the ground. It was him who sinned, not the strong lion that roars with pride. I'll take responsibility, I suppose, for all but my innocence, which also happens to be ignorance. Now those two are not mutually exclusive. I hate being singled out as the only person that deserves something bad. Someone knew the answer before me, yet they kept it a secret. Perhaps for their own ends.
Like everyone else...
Make me eat my words forever, huh google? I don't care. I never had much of a future, and now I really don't have a future. If you were inside my mind, you'd know why.
And I have a theory that HAARP is to protect us from these elites in addition to weather modification, but that the government doesn't want to spark panic by saying it. You should see into my mind and see all the stuff they did. I know someone sent the "nephilim" after me. I'll say that that would be benign. LOL
Back to the subject,
By the mere fact that you said that to me, discredits you. You are caring about not caring because that's what you've been programed to say. We abuse people with mental disorders like nothing else, probably because there is social stigma to seeking treatment due to the high costs that disorders like schizophrenia burden to families or, more importantly, politicians.
People, like always, do truly, deeply madly care about my mental health issues because they want to use me if only to say "I don't have problems like her" or "she doesn't deserve" or "she has to do this" or the best, "we all know she has a problem." That's what it boils down to in addition to the fact that they want to steal from me. They want to control me for their profit or take my opportunities away.
As if I had any, but you beat that dead horse. I'd like the respective intelligence agencies to take responsibility for what they've done. Yes, they've used their weapons on me. It's not a delusion. It's a fact. What evidence do I have? I have songs that clearly advertise weapons and a dramatic change in symptoms. They wanted to be fancy with their weapons and it had a dire result. Show offs.
Admit it, you want me to live in poverty and eat shit because you want to prove how unimportant you are and I am. Ya lo se. Be stupid for elites.
All I want is a place in society and to be left alone. I just don't like being psychotronically edited to fill these positions by the industrial complex that seeks to make a name for itself. I also don't care about what is socially wrong to say because I can't lie that much about my abuses. Juggling other peoples' lies about me gets difficult. And you can see it in my writing. I don't know if you've ever been controlled by people who don't have your interests in mind, but it's a challenge to navigate through. Oftentimes, they are ignorant about the amount of damage that they are doing! I'm getting a recorder so that I can show them and maybe they'll understand. Not that they value my opinion, but they do care.
Call me anything bad, but don't tell me that you don't care because you obviously do.
PS my attackers are faceless. I have to volunteer information because there are so many lies about me.
Google has defamed me by posting the most degrading comments. My opinion on undesirables is that we should all die, black or white, like I said and not play this run around game. It's unclear in that statement because I was very damaged for awhile and not clear. They made me stupid with their weapons, special operations. It's so they can say that I don't deserve. I'm out of the game now anyway. I'll just go to prison... I'm no one, never had a future anyway. I will not stand for this abuse, however, this manipulation, even if it means I'm destroyed. They destroyed me anyway. Either way, I lose.
Yes, they do engineer racism and they use us invalids as well. The US = evil. That's why I wanted to leave so that I could just live for once. I don't have to be a rose, a thorn, anything inferior. They've chased me before. Now they're defaming me with my google ranking. Bing is nice to me.
Oh, I'm so mean to black people. I deserved to be turned into Miss Trash. Nope, because if I am then you are. You'll learn this wisdom. Just like it's bad for all of us if we have retards in society.
Get off your asses and torch anyone that gets in your way. I can't believe you let whites enslave you. Not that you were special because we were indentured servants back then and just as "worthless." I hate white people too, don't worry, or maybe I just hate people. To them, I'm not human, so I guess i'm racist against humans.
http://rt.com/usa/news/racial-milwaukee-donovan-riots-487 Now that's what I'm talking about, black people. Beat the shit out of them. That's the only way people listen.
Stand up for yourselves, everyone. I did, and I've been discriminated against just like you and treated like a slave, but I deserve it. Stop living like a victim even if it means they take a few of you out. I basically committed suicide, but I got them back.
Again, I would like Putin to fix the brain damage that has improved a little after my first stem cell transplant because he made me a target. I don't care what they've turned me into. I want it fixed. I was too young for psychotronic warfare. I was like 20 when that happened. I didn't know any better. Our culture tricked me into thinking that I had free speech. I was stupid. I just didn't think I mattered that much, if you know what I mean.
And about my age, I don't mean that I didn't have responsibility; I just meant that I was green and could have used "correction" prior to having my brain destroyed then being institutionalized. Not that you care, if you're even reading this.
And I get along with black men, always have always will because they're chilled out. I wonder why I have a difficult time with the females? The ambiguous jealousy that i have is general and doesn't relate to whatever interpersonal relationships I've had, though the personal relationships could have had an impact on my general opinion.
I think I'm more black sometimes with discrimination issues. LOL Oops. I put two thoughts together.
I'm some horrible deviant of human intead though. I'm the one going to prison or in the institution. I have no future. I am going for a name change. I only used my name to try to ward off my timely death, much as I want to die. Life makes no sense. I think I want to kill the rejected part of me.
No, I don't want to kill anymore/harm anyone. I would talk her ear off, that's all. That's all I've ever done, but I'll be instititutionalized forever because it's peoples' control over me. If being a threat to someone else or self was that serious of a sin, then shouldn't all of the prison population and music industry be considered mental, insane?
I don't think I have schizophrenia. I was hit by cyanide (probably by a street gang worshipping Putin or Putin, but I would have expected him to do better really), and I was psychotronically edited. My relative says it's a miracle I'm a live with all the times my head's been hit anyway in the army and out of it. Prior to that, I just hallucinated and was stressed, tired. Who knows why? Now my emotions are all messed up, which is a symptom of both a TBI and schizophrenia. You know, I think the entire mental health field is delusional. If they can't prove that I have something physically, then it's not there. Sure, I was suicidal, but lots of people are. I'm poor, so instead of being homeless, I get to be institutionalized. I'll be homeless evetually, dammit.
You can come join my new group: 10% remaining. They say we only use 10% of our brains; well, I only have 10% of mine left...
Only stupid people have these problems... Since I have problems, I seem to pile more/ they chose me for these issues.
They have special squads to punish traitors. I wasn't a traitor until after the squad came. It's preventitive, I'm sure. Something to earn a paycheck over. I'm not pro any other country though. I guess that's why they always chose idiots so that they can have an easy kill. It's easy to manipulate me because my mind is weak after everything.
I tried to keep my mouth shut but they filled it with words. You should see what the psych ward has written me as saying. it's like, I don't remember any of that because you had me so drugged up that I couldn't tell ying from yang. My memory is terrible, but that sounds strange for me to say, so did the hit on black people because usually I just hate people, and I think they're all the same. I guess it's that somebody gots something thta I didn't, and I felt left out of the pity party. Plus, I was angry they didn't fight back more. I tried to, was trying to during that time. I blame psych drugs or the childhood regression since I don't have any control over my environment. That's the culprit, especially when they inject me with them. Yeah, and I think our culture has an entitlement problem, like anyone can be wronged... I find it humorous myself when I think about it a long time past personal laments. It's by the luck of Sam that you wake up each morning and eat. You aren't anything, after all. Anyone can do anything and get away with it.
I like what Africa did to the whites. They lost their privilege. Now they're all on welfare. See why? Stand up :) I'm stuck like that, and i love when people end up disabled...
Now there's a class divide between whites and blacks still, but I figure that could be ended in the US if elites would create a fake war. War is great for getting everyone to mix it up. We could be invaded by Russia or something for a generation. It would only destroy one generation. I kind'of figured that's why we had/have the recession, to even out the classes/make it more fair for everyone while it looked bad. Elites only let us get so far ahead before they throw us backward. None of reality actually exists. It does on our level, but not grander ones. Smart people gained absolute control awhile ago, and they pull the strings of realizations and things. That's why humanity isn't completely enslaved in labor camps and such by everyone. The 500 extra years to make an advancement doesn't matter when you have forever, and they do, so they aren't as concerned with time so much as quality for everyone, it seems thus far.
If you have a problem with me, I urge you to use to comment section, not dedicate an entire blog to my mocking (yes, someone did that). How does it make you feel to pick on the retard kid, huh? I just talk to air. I bet you want to get in my face and tell me you don't care, so go ahead. Everyone else destroys me I'm the one they can get to...
Death to invalids! Eloi said that I shouldn't die until we all die so that they don't nickel and dime their way to heaven. How to get rid of us in one way, dear fascists, fellow humanitarians, is use them as a facade for your cause then when they call you out on it, say that's all you're doing until we lose our purpose in society. You're not egocentric fascists, concerned only with your odd personality disorders, you're humanitarians. You like teddy bears and sunshine. What, they don't like you? They must be discriminating against disabled blondes. Play their game. Blondes are after all, a world minority.
I advocate standing up for what you believe in, and I jump around all the time because they made me retardeder. I was able to collect myself for a few hours last night. I'm impressed. Now here they come again because my words aren't allowed to stand for anything. You'll see my nonlinear thought process that must be schizophrenia, not the result of psychotronic warfare.
Sure, I'll confess anything. I love being the idiot. I have no memory, but it's kind'of improving... I say that's a TBI. I hope I make your "cause" happy. Looking back, I think I might have actually meant for people to stand up for themselves, but who knows. I am jealous of what people get too, if I recall, and I always hated the nurtured racism that they brought on in school with books like Gone with the Wind and a few programs. They didn't make us equal, they brought attention to differences. It gave black people a cause and white people angst.
All I know is that I'm an anarchist, I need help. SOS or SOL. SOL. Here I sit to chirp.
Leave a comment grandma. Yes, somebody cared so much they turned me into my grandma. She thinks I want to kill everyone. No, grandma, I really did get into a fight with Putin, and it resulted in the FSB or CIA using psychotronic weapons on me (look it up-it's real). I'm just asking him to man up and fix my brain so that I can be productive again. Yeah, yeah, I"m a little shit, but what happened was uncalled for. We live in a strange society these days where anyone can contact anyone else. Why don't you call Russia, grandma, and tell that jerk, excuse my language, to mind his own business and take care of his own people. He didn't need to police me. Now I need help from him, and he knows what they did, so he can fix it. This happened 2 years ago, but it caused them to stalk me in Virginia. They almost killed me. Putin likes to use cyanide and other torture methods. Yes, that really hurt more than my feelings. I'm a joker though. I say that I'm going to get a phone call from Putin, and he's going to fix this. I'm sorry I'm not Russian. I have rights. I think that it was the Russians that tried to kill me for getting disability because they do theirs. "Invalidy" - Tatu "Love as you die" It burned my brain and left me braindead. I will not stand for this. I go off to another charity. Great. You just make my life easier the more you steal from me. Russians = desperate people. No wonder you have to kiss Putin's ass. He doesn't feed you and has you completely enslaved. It's like, Putin, I'm not your nationality, your quagmire of desperation. Hey, if you guys want to live like that. I wonder why millions of your people run away, far away. I may be a dissident, but it's allowed in America. I've posted all sorts of nasty and no one has come after me. I am fighting the invisible, so I have to narrow down suspects. I am a piece of shit in many ways and that's not relevant to this discussion. Do not distract. I expect this fixed -- from your little American. You did part of this. I can nail you down for the picture and the bar. Those two things alone highlight your guilt in an aspect. It is inappropriate for you to influence an ordinary person's ongoings.
Treat me like an American since I am one. That means you can deal with me protesting you, saying a bunch of crap, and you can be accountable for what you inspired or did because I matter to America. I want my brain fixed as settlement. You get to pay for the tickets, the hotel and the procedure. I was not of your concern. You do anything funny to me over there, and it'll be another incident. Buffy didn't get you out of that one. Look, if you would have ripped my arm off, I wouldn't care, but do you see how my mind affects everything? I've had enough of people interferring. What you did was inappropriate. I was 20 and just learning about the world. Of course, I had a strange opinion. You shouldn't be involved in those sorts of affairs. It's like a black belt fighting a yellow belt. There is no point in the match. It looks bad. I look forward to my vacation in Russia, however. I like Russia. Don't forget the junior mints. I just want to piss everyone off with that. I don't know if stem cells work, but as a controller, I know you know of something that does, and I want to be fixed to have a normal life. You stole this from me. I want it back. Sorry I was rude. I love Russia on odd days, but I'm trying to get attention to my cause. I love America too on even days. I feel betrayed.
I've posted several times that this is my opinion in a free country and that I don't want to kill anyone. Then my doctor read this and scanned it, so I can see all the nonsense quotes out of context that they take from it. I have a TBI from psychotronic warfare. In the future, they'll see it. I wish Putin had the balls to fix what he did or what he inspired.
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