Dust... My Pity Party--You're Not Invited

So, as doctor's have told me, I have a childlike understanding of relationships. They told me this years ago. I know that it is true.

It's back to the point I haven't been socialized. I grew up semi-wild, delusional and in a haze of understandings. Like "Castaway," I hang out with shampoo bottles, stop signs, and, you guessed it, Hardee's star (we get into arguments).

I didn't grow up with the same status as other kids, and they knew it. Being in special ed made me a target both with peers and teachers alike.

I'm not the only one.

I do have a senior citizen friend--not Putin. I shouldn't discount her! Anyway, she has a son who they put in special ed, and she said it destroyed him. It is a nightmare. I would like there to be a camera in every room.


When you're a kid, these teachers have authority, and they manipulate everything against you. Plenty of parents have put a camera on their children, and they see the horror that comes with being special.

Every. Single. Day.

It's like, "You're making me sick." I remember my orchestra teacher had me sit in the back of the room and write paragraphs on composers instead of play the violin because I couldn't afford a bridge then. Wah, I know. We had some issues in HS. You'd think the bitch could have gotten me out of her class. In honor of that bitch, I donated my violin to charity.

My issues have continued into adulthood. I'm not valued by the community. I am annoying. Even before Breaking Benjamin did the "revenge-thing," my fate wasn't great. People know this. BTW, Breaking Benjamin, hope you enjoyed getting me as a ritual sacrifice. I fly up all the time due to that. It's like my homeboy, Putin.

And the world will be a better place. Wonder if Trent, Amanda's husband (who lied to me a lot and had her mother defend her as an adult)will build me a house in the future... I will cycle on and off charity. Weeeeeeeee...

It was nice. Larry and Lisa said I was part of their family, and it only took one word to destroy everything. More people who are full of shit.


<--Putin's love. I have been through a lot, and I know it'll only be used against me.