So, I let go of myself when I was younger. I fell under a frosty hazy that wasted years like a skeleton in a casket. I remember running into doors in Middle School. By HS, I was a full-fledged zombie, following commands.
They make it so that I can't defend myself.
I liked the army, and then they betrayed me. I was like, yeah. It's the circle I go in.. some people don't realize how pointless it is.
My sister tried to tell me when I was younger. She was like, "They never call you. Are they your friends?"
The truth was 'no.' I couldn't hear then, not other humans. Not only, but several of my teachers hated me and made it worse. I was holding back the bright kids.
I shutdown.
As an adult, I've had a hard time because people don't need me. I don't offer anything in a relationship. I'm not going to have a great job, due to disability, and I'm not going to climb the ladder. I'm not felling sorry for myself.
It's reality. I've tried every remedy. For each, I got a lashing.
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